


Sunlight Requiem

by fi3ryfl0w3r



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Deviates From Canon, Enemies to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:41:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27013684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fi3ryfl0w3r/pseuds/fi3ryfl0w3r
Summary: L and Light hunt each other down, both aiming for the throat. But what happens when piercing the skin is so appalling that you’d rather back down than cause the other such gruesome suffering? Opens with the first physical meeting between Light and L. Enemies to rivals to lovers slow burn and corresponding plot shift after The Episode.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 10
Kudos: 136





	1. Not so Chance Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> If something doesn’t seem right, it’s either intentional or I made a mistake, good luck guessing which.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first meeting of L and Light and then some. Throughout the work, L will be referred to as his aliases Ryuzaki and Ryuga in dialogue as needed.

The announcer’s voice boomed out over the crowd, greeting the masses of new students that filed in. Each face had at least a hint of anxiety, looking nervously at those around, waiting for a new friend to speak or sit next to them. All but two. 

L Lawliet resisted the urge to stare at his target, not wanting to tip him off until the last possible moment. Instead, he let his attention move to the decorations inside the amphitheater. Honestly, he was a bit disappointed. To-Oh University had, what, a year to plan and pull off convocation? Tacky wall pinnings featuring the school mascot and lukewarm messages of encouragement didn’t do much to foster a sense of acceptance. If the point was to make incoming students feel special, they missed the mark by a mile. In fact, they seemed far more interested in showing off their own accomplishments than praising those of their students.

The girl next to him made a noise. L reflexively looked, startled, to find her staring expectantly back. What an odd thing to do. Perhaps she said something to him? The typical thing to do in this sort of situation is to ask for one to repeat oneself, but he really didn’t want to invite conversation. L turned his attention back to the wall pinnings instead of dealing with her. It would probably sort itself out. Besides, hardly any conversation could be heard in the first place with the roar of the crowd. The girl huffed and turned away from him, whispering to the person on her other side. Well, as long as she wasn’t speaking to him, he was fine with it.

He thought back to the detectives’ reactions to his proposal to confront Light here. While he had determined that none of them were Kira, he had not yet concluded that none could potentially be feeding information to them, knowingly or not.

_ “You plan to do what??” Matsudo’s voice rang out, piercing L’s ears. _

_ L sighed, looking over his letter of acceptance from To-Oh University. “Like I said, I’ve decided to confront Light at this “convocation” ceremony. Tell him who I am and ask for his help in the Kira case.” _

_ “But why?” said Detective Yagami. “Surely it’s not necessary to-” _

_ “Put myself in the line of fire? Involve your son directly?” L accepted a plate of cake offered by Watari and took a nibble. “Maybe not,” he said, mouth full, “but we’re not getting anywhere as things lie now. And while I’ve gathered quite a bit of information on your son, it’s difficult even for me to truly know a person without meeting them face to face. That was the only way to put you all at ease in working with me, wasn’t it? Besides, it would be interesting to observe his reaction to such an unexpected occurrence. Remember, the odds of your son being Kira are under 5%, so you should have nothing to worry about.” _

_ Watari cleared his throat. “Sir, you do realize that you must write and perform a speech in front of the entire class of students?” _

_ “A minor inconvenience.” _

_ Detective Yagami interrupted, “A speech? Does the second-highest scorer speak as well?” _

_ L couldn’t help but feel the prick to his pride. “No, they do not. It seems your son and I both achieved perfect scores and must each perform a speech at convocation.”  _

_ To tell the truth, L was a bit excited. It had been a while since he’d had a case that took as long to solve as this, with as little evidence, physical or otherwise, left behind. And given Light’s perfect score on the entrance exams, his only suspect promised to be interesting as well. He wondered, were the entrance exam more difficult, who would perform better. He supposed this case would have to serve as the test itself. _

The excruciatingly loud chatter inside the room faded to a dull murmur as the dean began the ceremony for real. Good, that meant his part would be over with soon. After 15 minutes of constant droning, time during which L spent coming up with scenarios his target could potentially use to kill him, the dean fell silent and stared at him expectantly. L saw his target move out of the corner of his eye, standing and moving toward the stage. Ah, yes, he was meant to join Light Yagami up there to give some sort of speech or other. It probably wouldn’t kill him. As far as he knew.

L stood at his assigned podium and pulled out his speech. Watari had written it for him the night before, but he hadn’t even looked at it yet. He hoped it wasn’t full of hollow sayings like the banners across each doorway to the hall. He supposed it didn’t really matter. 

His attention turned to Light, who was delivering an impassioned speech, full of encouragement and inspiration. Certainly fitting of a self-important class representative. He looked back down at his own paper. If only Watari could deliver the speech as well as write it. The burdens of life truly never let one rest.

As Light came to a natural ending to his speech, raucous applause broke out. As it faded, L began to read through his speech for the first time. He only realized halfway through that he was actually reading it out loud. 

After what seemed like an eternity, he reached the last line. “Now, let us begin this new chapter in our lives,” he said, monotonous. What were the odds that Light had a weapon of some kind on him? Slim to none given how fitted the school uniform was. He’d be able to see anything of significant size poking out. 

A confused, hesitant clapping broke out. The difference in reaction between each speech was palpable, as the energy in the room fell to lethargy. Light and L were instructed to take their seats. Light sat primly, obviously trying to ignore L’s hovering in the corner of his eye, while L took a gremlin-like position on his own seat, staring directly at Light as the dean took up the microphone once more and continued with his dull droning. 

Now that the speeches were over, L had one clear objective left; to reveal himself to Light. He took stock of his target’s current mental and physical state: calm, empty eyes seeming intent on the dean’s every word, though occasional shifting in his seat demonstrated hints of boredom. The same state he had exhibited throughout the entirety of the convocation ceremony. After hours of surveilling him on grainy video feed and based on the personal impressions he had gotten so far, L was confident he’d be able to tell if a shift occurred in Light’s cool and collected mannerisms. Even someone as intelligent as Kira would be thrown off by his next move, unable to completely hide their reaction.

If he was going to do it now would be the best time. “ _ Psst. _ ”

Light ignored him.

“Hey, Light. Light Yagami,” he whispered.

Annoyance flashed across Light’s face. “What?”

“Your father is police chief Soichiro Yagami, am I correct? And you’re studying to become a detective like him, yes? You’ve been assisting on a number of cases for the police department for a while now, very impressive.”

Vague curiosity joined the annoyance. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

L leaned in. “I just wanted to tell you…  _ I’m L _ .” 

Silence. Absolute silence. Then, a blink. Did he have him?

“Well… if you are who you  _ say _ you are, you have nothing but my respect and admiration.” Light smiled at him, allowing a healthy amount of disbelief to be read through it.

Interesting. Before he opened his mouth there was the barest clench of muscle in Light’s fists, almost as if to suggest an aggressive first instinct. If Light were Kira, would he react violently to this news? Or was it the detective’s son reigning in his emotions when speaking to his father’s temporary superior? Light’s face gave away nothing but mild interest and doubt. Not even a twitch of the eyes to suggest panic or fear. Perhaps he was wrong.

“Thank you. I’m only telling you this because I believe you can be of some help to the Kira investigation.”

No, there was definitely something there. The odds of Light being Kira were just under 5%, or at least, that's what he’d have Light’s father believe, but some gut instinct, the same instinct that had led him to solve countless other cases, told him that he wasn’t wrong.

Light gave him another pleasant smile before turning back to pay attention to the dean’s words, but L could tell he was still keeping him in the corner of his eye. Of course, anyone would be suspicious if a strange person came up to them and confessed that they were an infamous secret detective hunting a serial killer and needed their help. Especially if they were the chief of police’s son. 

Eventually, the dean’s droning stopped and everyone was called to cheer the school’s motto. L noted with slight interest that Light, who had been brimming with enthusiasm before, gave only a half-hearted cheer a second too late. Good. He rattled him. Now it was time for the next phase.

* * *

_ A few days later…  _

“You wanted to play tennis?” Light asked as they walked across campus.

“Yes,” L said. He needed more data on Light, to gauge his reactions, his mannerisms. Get to know him. 

Light chuckled. “Well, I should warn you- I was tennis junior champion back when I was a kid.”

“I know. I was also junior champion in England years back.”

A pause. “Oh, are you from the UK?”

“I lived there for about five years when I was small. But don’t waste your time, nothing in that story will reveal my true identity.”

Light’s lips pursed ever so slightly. Was it due to frustration at being foiled? Or annoyance at L’s assumption and tone? This guessing game was becoming more fun by the second; he quite liked the challenge.

Finally, they made it to the tennis courts.

“Don’t you want to… change?” Light asked, staring at L’s apparel.

L supposed the question had merit. After all, playing tennis in jeans and a long sleeve shirt was hardly the most comfortable of things to do, but he had no change of clothes. He convinced himself that it could only serve to his advantage if Light couldn’t see his build, how strong he actually was. He spent a fair time curating the impression that he was physically weak and harmless with his hunched posture and baggy clothes. Besides, he’d rather die than wear the school gym uniform. 

Light, by contrast, was wearing the school’s gym shorts and a simple white t-shirt. Slender, toned muscles traced their way down his calves and arms. Could L take him in a physical fight? Given Light’s upper middle class background and probable lack of experience in physical altercations, probably.

“No, I will play as I am.”

Light shrugged. “Ok. You have first serve.”

And so the match began. They were quite evenly matched, actually, L had to give him credit for sheer talent. He actually had to work to return Light’s serves, even missing a few on occasion. Light must have exceptionally quick reflexes. L began to doubt his initial impression of him, reconsidering the probable results of a potential physical altercation between the two. And, given his analysis that Kira was childish, a fist-fight was not far outside of the realm of possibilities should things escalate.

* * *

Light’s POV:

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck _ , Light thought as he dove to reach the ball. He missed. Damn, why did everything have to go to shit, now of all times? Ryuga- no,  _ L _ \- just had to ruin everything, didn’t he? Showing up at convocation was one thing, but playing a tennis match, like they were friends or something? The gall of this man. No, more a boy than a man. He had expected L to be some middle-aged geezer like his father, but instead standing before him was someone barely older than him.

He returned the next serve with ease. L couldn’t get any information out of him during a tennis match, could he? Would he accidentally give something away? And, above all, would L think Kira would win or lose the match? Too many questions. He needed answers. No, he needed to play the part of Light Yagami, the detective’s son. What would  _ he _ do? 

Win. He’d win. In fact, he couldn’t imagine any scenario in which he’d throw the match. After all, he hated to lose.

He had to admit though, L was better than he’d expected. Faster. Adapting to the spin of the ball like a stream changing course around a log. Well, if L wanted to use this game, he could go right ahead. Nothing he could possibly discover could provide any kind of evidence that he was Kira.

He smacked the ball back with his racket and watched in satisfaction as ‘Ryuga’ reached it just a second too late. A point to him.

* * *

L’s POV:

Light won, of course. As expected. They packed up their gear and began to walk back to the main campus. 

“Hey, Ryuga…” Light called, a few steps behind. Who? Oh, right, his cover name. “That was a great game back there! It’s been a while since I’ve had to play that hard to keep up,” he said with a smile. “Did you want to get a cup of coffee together? There are some things I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Of course, Light would want to confirm his identity. Time for the next play. “You humored me with the match, so the least I could do is answer a few of your questions. Before we proceed, however, there’s something you should know…” L paused, half for dramatic effect and half because part of his hair flew into his face, temporarily blinding him After taking the time to pull hair out of his mouth, he continued. “I suspect that you are Kira.”

Light halted in his step. An awkward silence ensued as L gave Light a dead-eyed stare, the same one that cracked Near and Mello every time. 

Light gave a small chuckle.  “You think  _ I’m _ Kira?”

“Well, it’s only a 1% possibility.” L broke the stare and walked on, forcing Light to catch up. Nothing had been given away, but perhaps he had been thrown off. “But once suspicion surrounding you has been cleared and I’ve seen a demonstration of your analytical skills, I would like to bring you on the Kira case as a consultant.”

There. A plan that both assuaged and heightened Light’s fears. Maneuvering the scenario to be in his favor, preventing Light from meeting anyone on the task force while keeping him close. And, judging from the righteously indignant look on his face, Light knew exactly what he was doing.

“So where’s this coffee shop?” L asked.

Light silently took the lead as the two walked on.

If Light was in fact Kira, letting him see the rest of the task force was tantamount to suicide. If Kira could control their victim’s actions before death, as he suspected, it wouldn't be too difficult to force one of the other members to shoot him and then themselves. The only member of the task force Light was aware of was Soichiro Yagami, and L highly doubted Light was capable of committing patricide yet, not when his supposed creed was justice, and not if he wasn’t completely backed into a corner. No matter what happened, no matter how little evidence there was to support him, L could never let Light go to Task Force Headquarters.

* * *

_ A few weeks later…  _

“Welcome to the task force, Light,” Soichiro Yagami said, smiling proudly at his son.

“Thanks, Dad,” Light said. He began to sift through the crime scene photos on the table, approaching each with a keen eye. 

L’s eyes didn’t leave Light. As much as he hated to bring Light here, he didn’t see how else to work it. To be honest, he was lost. He knew,  _ knew _ that Kira was within his grasp, but there was simply no evidence, no matter how hard he searched. And now that there seemed to be a second Kira, one that didn’t even require a name to kill, they were all in far more danger than ever before.

Soichiro gestured towards L. “Ryuzaki was the one who suggested bringing you into the investigation. Apparently, you impressed him with your analytical skills during your last meeting.”

“Yes, yes, enough of that,” L interrupted. “I’d like to know your impressions of this video in particular, Light. It seems Kira has contacted us directly.”

Surprise exploded across Light’s face. “What?”

“Yes, that was my initial thought as well.”

“What- what did he say?”

Watari picked up the remote from beside L and turned the TV on.

Soichiro cleared his throat. “It’s best that you see for yourself.”

The ‘Kira’ video began to play its strange message. L couldn’t help but see a flicker of annoyance in Light’s eyes, which didn’t quite go away until the video had finished. 

“What is your impression?” L asked.

Light paused before responding. “This might sound strange, but… I don’t think this is the work of Kira. Or at least, not the Kira we’ve been tracking. This breaks his pattern. In the past, he’s only communicated with Ryuzaki and the task force through his victims’ suicide notes, so he has no need to speak to us directly, and especially not through something that can be traced so easily. Kira may be many things, but he’s no fool. And, more importantly, there are clear differences in his chosen victims. Kira only kills criminals, he’s made that much clear. To suddenly switch to innocent people simply to prove a point? It’s unthinkable that these are the same person.”

Hm… well, it was clear that Light was no fool either. He could have let this other Kira shoulder the blame should they be caught, which would be the obvious thing for him to do if he was guilty. Anyone else under as much scrutiny as Light would take the bait to throw off suspicion. L took another bite of cake.

“Yes, those were my thoughts as well.”

Matsuda gasped. “Wait, you mean now there are two of them?”

Soichiro thumped Matsuda on the back of the head. “Matsuda, we already knew that.” He turned to L, eyes blazing with clear intent. “Ryuzaki, does this mean that Light is cleared now? He passed your test, didn’t he?”

“Test?” Light looked befuddled. “What-”

“It would be fair to say that he passed.” L couldn’t resist waiting for Soichiro to relax before continuing with his next statement. “However, he isn’t cleared.” 

Soichiro gritted his teeth and started forward, but was interrupted by his son.

“Hold on,” Light said. “You still suspect me?”

“Was that not obvious?” L said. “You were paying attention, so I’m going to assume that question was rhetorical.”

Silence filled the room. L fixed his dead-eyed stare once more on Light, who remained absolutely still. The detectives watched the two with bated breaths, as though two lions were facing off at the edge of the territory line. 

Finally, Light spoke again. “Fine. I guess the only way to clear myself in your eyes then is to help catch the  _ real  _ Kira.” 

“That would be ideal,” L replied.

The two stood off, as if in a game of chicken.

Matsudo broke the tension. “Um… well, now that that’s settled, what’s our next move, Ryuzaki? Do we reply to this second Kira’s message?”

Conversation returned to the room as they all began to plot the next stage of the investigation.


	2. Kira? We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Kira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Building up the plot, will include more non-strictly canon scenes.

Light’s POV:

The next day, Light saw L sitting alone at a table on campus. Well, not necessarily alone; L seemed to consider cake a preferable companion to most people. However, something felt off this time. Instead of methodically carving into the iced pastry, L was staring off into the distance, fork left abandoned on the napkin.

“Wow, what’s he doing here?” Ryuk asked, hovering upside down in cadence with Light’s footsteps. “New evidence? Something that’ll pin you into another corner?”

“Shut up,” hissed Light.

“Oh sorry. It’s just that your heartbeat gets ever so faster when you see him.” Ryuk flipped right side up and chuckled. “If you’re feeling tense I can give you a backrub, ease your muscles.”

Light resisted the urge to glare at the gothic monstrosity. 

Ryuk went on, mocking. “The more relaxed you are, the less likely you’ll make a mistake. After all, a mistake with _ him _ can be fatal. Just be careful not to moan if I hit a knot.”

Was Ryuk that intent on messing him up? Well, he’d have to try harder. It was difficult to beat the shit his old friends yelled when his mother called him at school. That invoked stress even gods of death couldn’t match. Still, did Ryuk have to be so annoying?

L hadn’t given any sign of noticing him. Should he walk up? He supposed there was no avoiding it; even if there weren’t any signals, L was perfectly capable of using a scenario like this to get him to reveal signs of guilt. Light sauntered up to the table and sat down across from L, flipping the switch in his brain to turn on the friendliness and charm that was the Light Yagami everyone else knew.

“Hey Ryuga. What are you doing here? I thought you had-” he cut himself off as L literally jumped out of his seat. 

Unfortunately for L, the table’s edge was a bit lower than he had originally calculated. As a result, his foot caught between it and the seat and he went sprawling painfully to the ground. Even more unfortunately for L, his cake was balanced precariously already, and the bump to the table caused it to tumble off the edge. 

Before Light knew what he was doing, his hand swept the falling plate out of the air at a trajectory that balanced the centrifugal force just so that the cake remained on the plate instead of splattering onto the ground.

“Oho!” said Ryuk. “Someone’s happy to see you.”

L sprang back up to his feet. “Light.” He paused awkwardly.

“Um… here.” Light didn’t know what else to do but offer the plate back to L. So much for his famous charm.

“Oh, thank you,” L said. He hesitated a second before taking it. “I… apologize. I was lost in thought and your sudden appearance startled me.”

So L hadn’t seen him? He could have just ignored him? Or was this all a ploy to throw him off again? He thought L had been genuinely startled, but he could never tell with him. Someone like L would be perfectly capable of faking a tumble like that, and he had a hard time believing a man as coordinated as he was during their tennis match would get tripped up so easily.

Light cleared his throat. “Um…” He gathered his scattered thoughts. “What are you doing here? I thought you had, uh, school work to do?” Of course, he had to be careful not to let anything slip about L’s true identity out in public. Keep his cover.

“I do,” L said, settling back down and staring at a spot on the table, not eating, not even playing with his food.

This was odd, even for L. Usually he didn’t hesitate to carve into whatever sweets he had in front of him, even if there was a conversation to be had. Especially if there was a conversation to be had. 

“Are… you ok? You seem… off.” What was he doing? He didn’t care about L, why would he ask after him? 

Ryuk chuckled again. “Playing the friend card? Smart, very smart.”

That’s right. That’s what it was. He was just manipulating L, becoming his confidant. The closer he could get to L, the more advantageous of a position he’d be in should he need to kill him. Maybe he could even find out L’s real name. It would be good to have a contingency plan.

L sighed deeply. “Yes, I suppose I must. You shouldn’t concern yourself with it, it has nothing to do with the case.”

“So what does it have to do with?”

L opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated and shook his head slightly. Then, he blurted, “The cake here is absolutely terrible.”

That… was not at all what he expected him to say. “Well here, let me try it.” Light reached over, picked up the fork, and took a bite. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, the cake’s fine. A little sweet for my taste, but cake’s meant to be that way.”

“I suppose it’s just me then,” L said. “But since you’re here… did you want something? They offer more than pastries in the cafe if you don’t care for sweet things.” 

“Sure, I’ll grab something. I actually had some thoughts on the case I wanted to run by you, if that’s ok.” 

L nodded as Light briefly excused himself to go order a cup of coffee. Light knew something was off, but he couldn’t tell what. He got the feeling though that it had nothing to do with getting him to admit that he was Kira. 

Ryuk hovered close to Light’s ear as he walked away. “You know… that eye deal is still on the table if you ever get tired of playing the fool. Just give me a nod and we have a deal.”

It was tempting… very tempting... for the first time, Light seriously considered taking it. He could finally put an end to the dance he and L were locked in. But some sixth sense was telling him to wait, to see what unfolded. After all, he was under no immediate fire, and to give up half his lifespan was almost as bad as getting caught. He ignored Ryuk instead of giving a visible or audible response. It would be the height of idiocy to acknowledge his existence in any way when L was nearby.

* * *

L’s POV

Light eased into the seat opposite L with his coffee.

“You mentioned you had concerns regarding the case?” L asked, poking at his cake.

“Well… you’ve established that Kira needs both a name and a face to kill people, right?”

Ah, so he wanted to talk about that. He supposed it was only natural to discuss subjects people had in common, but he hardly had the energy to play mind games with Light today. “Yes. That’s the only commonality among his victims we’ve found other than their status as criminals and convicts.”

“But… how do you think he actually kills them? I know that they suffer from heart attacks, but how are they caused?” Light’s eyes were full of innocent curiosity.

And that was the real issue. He didn’t want to admit the truth to anyone, much less to Light Yagami, but he honestly had no idea how the victims were killed. That scared him more than anything. He was so used to having all the answers, to know that no matter what information was available, the puzzle could always be solved through logic and reason. All it took was a few lucky guesses and proper maneuvering of the game pieces. Yet here, there was absolutely nothing that he could think of that solved the riddle of  _ how _ Kira killed. He had nothing but a vague explanation designed to throw off questioners.

He sighed once more. “I’ve told the other detectives this, so I suppose there’s no harm in confiding in you as well. I believe that Kira has some sort of special ability or power that allows him to kill without needing to be there, as we saw with the decoy Lind L. Tailor.” Great. Now he was thinking about that man again. The one he sent to his death.

“So after all this time, we’ve made no real progress? That’s… frustrating.”

L pushed his plate of cake away. He had no more energy for this. “Make sure to be at Task Force Headquarters this evening, same time as usual. The location will be sent soon. If we’re lucky, we’ll have a response from the second Kira by then.”

He got up and left, trying to push Lind L. Tailor’s dying expression from his mind.

  
  


* * *

L’s POV:

Task Force Headquarters had switched hotels once again, so L expected most of the others to be late. However, he didn’t expect Light to be the first to arrive. L crouched on his chair and stacked gummy worms like lincoln logs around each other as Light leaned against the wall.

“Where’s Watari?” Light asked, folding his arms. “It’s strange not seeing him here.”

“Unfortunately he’s not able to join us today. The weather combined with his advanced age prevents him from taking part.” He added another layer of worms to turn his creation from a house to a tower.

“Oh.”

The two sat in silence as they waited for the others to arrive. 

Ten minutes passed before they finally heard the secret knock at the door. Light immediately went to answer it. The other detectives all filed in, Soichiro in front.

“What’s this one about, Ryuzaki? Watari sounded especially serious on the phone,” he said, hanging up his coat.

L waited for them all to get settled before answering. “The second Kira has sent us a reply.”

Aizawa clicked his tongue. “Finally, we’re done with the waiting!”

Matsuda looked excited. “Really? How long ago did we get it? Have you seen it yet?”

Soichiro signaled everyone to be quiet. “Could you play the message for us, Ryuzaki? I’d like to know what they have to say.”

L pointed to the table where the remote was. “See for yourself. This will be the first time I see it as well, it arrived just two minutes before Light did.”

Well accustomed to L’s habits by now, Soichiro grabbed the remote and pressed play. The familiar old-fashioned ‘KIRA’ lettering appeared on the screen and the warbling doctored voice began to play.

_ “Kira, thank you for your reply. Please do not worry, I will follow orders and do as you say.”  _

Matsuda gasped, “It worked! The fake message actually worked!” before getting an elbow in the ribs from Aizawa.

_ “I really want to meet you… I don't think you have the eyes but you don't have to worry, I would never try to kill you. That's a promise.”  _

Aizawa muttered to himself, “What does he mean by ‘the eyes’? Is it some sort of code?”

L, on the other hand, could feel a cold dread begin to build up inside of him. He now wished he had played the tape for himself before anyone else could arrive, but there had been no time for that. He had the terrible feeling that something had been set in motion, that something far worse was about to unfold. He tried to take deep breaths to calm himself, but they were coming faster and faster, making his head spin.

_ “Please tell me how I can meet you without the police knowing. You’ll think of something. When we meet, we can confirm our identities by showing our Shinigami to each other”  _

At these words, L couldn’t suppress the scream that bubbled up in his throat. He felt his mind turn to static and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor, his body throbbing painfully. The gummy worm tower scattered across the floor.

Shinigami… that- that had to be it. The piece he was missing. If it was true, then… no. How could it be true? How could he even entertain the idea, the possibility that gods of death truly existed, that human beings could harness their power? It was the only solution. No, it was ridiculous. Far outside the lines of logic and reason that he held so dearly. But… that suicide note. The one the true Kira made his victim write… it mentioned Shinigami as well. Mocking him. 

What dominated his fears wasn’t that the Kiras had supernatural powers, no. It was this whole new dimension, the mere alleged existence of these Shinigami, that changed everything. His entire worldview had to be reworked around it, and along with it came the possibility that he had been wrong. Wrong about previous cases, where the answers seemed to be so obvious. Wrong about life, about how the world worked. It was like mastering chess your whole life, only to discover that it was meant to be played in three dimensions. The sudden shock to his brain was too much as it tried to comprehend all of this in the span of a single microsecond.

Soichiro rushed to help him. “Ryuzaki!”

He felt himself being pulled back up, and dimly managed to work his legs to get back into his chair. “Sh-shinigami,” he whispered. “Do they really exist?”

L felt something grip his left wrist. A hand. Something else floating in his peripheral. He focused on it only to see a face overflowing with concern staring back at him. Light Yagami. Kira.

“Ryuzaki, are you ok?”

He stiffened. “Yes, I am fine. Just a… minor fit. I’m fine,” he heard himself say. His eyes searched Light’s for the truth he desired above all else. And there it was. The wall that slid up every time L tried to trap him. So there was some kind of clue in the message, something that Light, that Kira, didn’t want him to figure out. Was it confirmation of the Shinigami?

Matsuda scratched his head. “Wait a minute… are we supposed to believe that Shinigami are real?”

Debate broke out as to what was meant by the message. Aizawa and Light took the position that it was merely a code used by the second Kira, while Soichiro voiced his suspicions that these were in fact the same Kira simply trying to mess with them. A strange, almost unbearable sadness began to well in his stomach as L watched Light argue. 

“I don’t think that’s right,” Light told his father. “If I were Kira, I would want L dead. Why would he stop demanding that he appear on TV if they’re the same Kira or, as Matsuda said, if they’ve already met up?”

“Maybe the second Kira’s desires ended up taking dominance over the first?” offered Matsuda.

L adjusted his seating once more. “No, Light is correct. If they were in communication, I don’t think the imposter would give up on their plan to kill me. No, I think this copycat has one goal in mind: to meet the real Kira.”

Light nodded, maintaining eye contact with L. “I think you’re right. And… I think that the word Shinigami might be some reference to their killing power.” Light’s voice crackled with excitement as he continued, “When they say ‘we can show our Shinigami’s to each other,’ it could mean that they prove their identities by somehow demonstrating their ability to kill.”

Something clicked in L’s brain. “Yes… yes, that’s right. From this point on we should consider that the word Shinigami has some sort of special significance to the two Kiras.” 

Whatever he might say to the rest of them, the shock had opened up his mind to infinite more possibilities. He had sensed this other dimension hovering just out of reach in the past few weeks, but he hadn’t known what it was. Whether the use of Shinigami referred to the literal gods of death or another sort of strange power, L was now prepared.

“So what’s our next move? Are we going to try to force the second Kira to be more specific?” Light asked, brimming with excitement.

“Hmm… no.” Satisfaction flew through L’s core as he saw Light visibly deflate. “I think we should leave everything else up to the two Kiras. Televising this response will pressure both of them into initiating contact, as the copycat wants, no  _ needs _ to meet the original, which could provide the physical evidence we need to solve the case. Of course, that risk means that Kira will do anything to keep the copycat out of the police’s hands.” He couldn’t help the grin that crept across his face. “No matter what else, this will be interesting.”

* * *

After the meeting, Light hung back as his father and the other detectives filed out. L noted this and occupied himself by restacking his gummy worm tower, trying to lock in the events of the past hour and his deductions in his mind as firmly as possible. Soon, they were the only two in the room.

Light cleared his throat. “Hey, uh, Ryuzaki?”

“Yes, Light?”

“How did you know?”

L’s mind went blank. Know what? He obviously wasn’t referring to being Kira, he couldn’t be, Light wasn’t stupid enough to confront him about that. L became slightly uncomfortable as he remembered that Watari was out for today. It truly was just the two of them here. 

As the silence extended, Light seemed to realize L had no idea what he was referring to. “When we talked earlier, you mentioned that you thought Kira had some sort of special power. And here, with this tape, it’s practically confirmed. Both Kira and this copycat have an unexplained power to kill… how did you know it was, well, supernatural?”

“I didn’t. I still don’t. But it would be remiss for us to exclude it from the realm of possibilities.”

“You still don’t? Even with all we’ve seen?”

What was Light doing? Wouldn’t Kira try to prevent L from finding the truth? Unless… “I don’t think we should ignore the fact that it could be a possibility.” He couldn’t wrap his head around it quite yet, but… he recognized something in Light’s eyes. Not guilt, nothing malicious, but something… of a melancholy nature. 

“I get it. No stone unturned, right?” Light rolled his shoulders to ease the tension. “Look, if you ever… need someone to talk to, whether it’s about the case or not, feel free to give me a call, ok? I mean, I know we’re not friends or anything, but-”

Something about the sadness L saw in Light caused him to blurt out, “I- I do consider you a friend… as strange as it is to say. But-” he cut himself off.

The unspoken words hung in the air between them.  _ But I still believe that you are Kira. _ Light read them easily.

“Yeah. Me too,” Light said. He hesitated. “Anyways... I should probably get going. I’ve got a sociology paper to write." 

The two stood as an awkward pause stretched out between them. 

Light broke it as he headed towards the hotel room door, calling over his shoulder, "Remember, anything at all, you can call me.”

L held up a hand in farewell and watched Light leave the room. 

Alone again.


	3. Light, You're Not Tragic Enough to be a Playboy. Sincerely, L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L reflects on Light's activities and Light makes his ultimate move after Misa's capture.

L’s POV:

L took a deep breath and a sip of hot cocoa as the cool night air settled around him. The balcony was a great spot for looking over reports and keeping away from Watari. Besides, the view was something even he couldn’t deny as spectacular. The twinkling city lights lit up the streets, which still had a bustling nightlife, and he had a great view of an active mugging two blocks over. He took another sip, appreciating the sweetness and warmth that suppressed the shivers that threatened to run up his spine. This was truly an entertaining city. He could understand, on a base level, why Kira did what he did. But of course, that didn’t excuse his actions.

He watched the mugging go down, stared as the terrified couple tossed their precious belongings towards the desperate knife-wielder before both groups ran off in opposite directions. And he couldn’t help but think that the exact scene unfolding before his eyes was why Kira was wrong. 

Kira saw criminals as less than human, as scum, as rats, who deserved to be eradicated. As evil incarnate. He ignored what drove people to commit crimes. Ignored the source of the mugger’s desperation, what made him _need_ to resort to theft. It certainly wasn’t a desire to hurt people. If that were true, the couple would now be dead, their blood pooling on the ground. Most likely it was extreme hunger and the lack of a stable income. Something L was certain Kira never had to face. 

Sure, there was the odd human that committed crimes just for the hell of it, but L’s experience told him those with everything to lose rarely stepped out of line to commit a violent crime. Unless it was white-collar crime, he supposed. There, the opposite was true. 

His introspection served as an excuse as well as an attempt to understand Kira. Anything to keep him from reading the rest of the reports. Every time he read the opening line, he wanted to toss the files over the edge of the balcony and watch them fall. An instinct that was irrational, he knew, but still. The frustration kept building up, threatening to manifest itself in an illogical way.

He forced himself to turn his attention back to work. If he didn’t get it done now, Kira would have more time to cover his tracks. Every second counted, he reminded himself.

_Ryuzaki,_

_The suspect has had a number of people approaching and following them since Aoyama, all of them women. One attends the same university as the suspect and shares at least one class with them. Another is a barista at a coffee shop, Dark Brewers, they’ve frequented in the past, since before Aoyama. Two have appeared since Aoyama that were not in the suspect’s sphere of influence before. One of those is a schoolmate of their sibling, and another is an up and coming model. They all appear to have a relationship of a romantic nature with the suspect, though none of their visits overlap with one another. It appears that none of them know each other. However, only one, the prospective model, has made an appearance at the suspect’s home and was invited in by the suspect’s mother. The others have been met by the suspect in hotel rooms, classrooms, and at their places of work or school. Attached is a list of the identities of each of the aforementioned individuals, as well as pictures and descriptions of their activities. I’ve highlighted details key to the case._

_JB_

Apparently, Light Yagami had not one, but four girlfriends. L looked back out over the city. He wondered if driven to it if he had the potential to rob anybody. Given the myriad of circumstances that drive many to crime, he couldn’t rule it out. But at this point in his life, it was decidedly unlikely. He pitied Kira. The narrow worldview that drove him to kill was exactly what was going to get him caught in the end. He ought to be grateful for it. 

Still… four girlfriends. That just felt excessive. Dangerous. If one found out about the others… it was a ticking time bomb. L honestly pitied them, those who were smokescreens. Because they were just that to Light Yagami. Smokescreens. If they realized they meant nothing more than a tool to be used by the man who flirted with their hearts, the emotional damage would be quite extensive. Nothing irreparable, but still. Nobody liked feeling that way. 

How did he even manage it? L supposed Light was _charming_ , sure, but the man gave him chills. Didn’t any of the women sense the thread about to snap? He’d read that some women were into dangerous men, but if they wanted a dangerous man, they could just as easily find a thug on the street. Light was an upper middle-class college kid, there was nothing roguish or sympathetic about him. It had to be Light’s intelligence. That was a factor even L could admire. That mixed with Light’s natural charisma must be the reason. L shook his head. What a waste.

Perhaps if the truth came out, he could use them as witnesses. He was sure Light would never tell them anything that could be used against him, but perhaps they saw something important. There were no guarantees though, and he didn’t want to crack open that mess unless he knew he could find something. No need to cause more damage than necessary.

Of course, there was one girlfriend he didn’t pity. The second Kira. He knew she was among them, knew she was the reason for all the others. It was the only explanation that made sense. Light going from zero to four girlfriends since Aoyama? It had to be it. He had made contact. As to which one she was, well, there was one who stood out glaringly in the file, but he didn’t think Kira would be so careless as to let the second Kira visit his home. After all, Light had proven himself to be close to his own level of intelligence, given the difficulty in pinning him and closing the case. Light would never make such a stupid mistake.

Unless… unless it was the second Kira that messed up here. After all, they were nearing a dead end in the case until the second Kira made a move on that television station. And they collected hair and fibers from the packaging of the tapes, a slip up that Kira would never make. 

L re-read the descriptions and the rundown of activities of each girlfriend. Yes, there it was! With every other girlfriend, Light was the one who approached them. Light was the one who instigated their meetings, and he was the one who controlled the time and place. With the last one, however, she simply appeared at Light’s house, and there was no prior contact, at least not in person. L nearly laughed. The lack of control Light had over the second Kira’s actions must have driven him crazy. Light hated to lose command, he knew that much. It was part of what made him so childish.

Were it anyone other than Light, there were plenty of other plausible explanations that would take precedence over the Kira possibility. However, given the mountain of circumstantial evidence building up around Light… he couldn’t ignore it. This lead. 

Of course, he would investigate each girlfriend to be sure. Well, he’d assign people to it. But he knew in his gut this Misa girl was the key.

* * *

L’s POV:

“You arrested my girlfriend?!?!?” 

Light stood over L, breathing heavily, fist reddened from the impact with L’s own hands. Soichiro grasped his son’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, restrain him. Aizawa instinctively moved his hand towards his hip as a reaction to the aggressive shift in the air, forgetting that his gun was confiscated when he entered the hotel room. Matsuda’s eyes were wide as saucers. He glanced back and forth between L and Light, like a deer tensed to run.

L let his gaze drift over the hot chocolate splatter and the shards of broken teacup on the floor and wall. “Yes,” he said simply. 

Watari appeared unfazed by the aggression that was apparent in the room, by the tempers about to blow. He whipped out a towel and began to clean up the spill.

Light was trembling. Whether in anger, fear, or it was an act, L had no idea. Light hung his head, letting his hair fall in front of his face. Finally, he spoke, his voice shaking. “Why? Why would you-”

“We found strands of hair and fibers that match her own hair and clothing in the packaging from the tapes. She’s being held on suspicion of being the second Kira.”

“She’s not! There’s no reason to think-”

Soichiro cleared his throat. “Light, I-”

“Don’t interrupt me!”

Silence fell as Light hung his head once more. L watched him carefully. Was he about to snap? Was the pressure finally about to goad him into making a mistake? L shifted in his seat. Seeing Light so agitated was starting to fray his nerves. Usually, he wasn’t so close to his suspects when goading them.

Light’s head snapped back up and he stared directly at L. “Arrest me. Hold me as long as you need to.”

Matsudo and Aizawa couldn’t suppress their noises of surprise. Soichiro’s expression hardened.

Curious. What had he to gain from this? “Why?”

“Because you only arrested her because you suspect me too! Because I want to prove to you once and for all that I’m _not Kira_! Because I can’t bear allowing her to suffer for one more minute!”

“You care for her that much?” L asked softly.

“I’d do anything.”

Soichiro tightened his grip on Light’s shoulder. “Son… please don’t.”

“If I’m not Kira, then we have nothing to fear, dad. And…” 

“And _what_?”

A single tear traced its way down Light’s cheek as he turned to face his father. “What if I _am_ Kira?”

It took all of L’s self-control to suppress a derisive snort. Of course Light was Kira. What kind of trick was he trying to pull? Reverse psychology? L had to give Light credit for his acting though, the tear looked very genuine. He even managed to warble his voice to convey the impression that he was distraught. But L could see that Light’s eyes were as calculating as ever behind the faint screen of emotion.

Soichiro was bewildered. “What are you talking about, Light?”

“What if- I mean, if the world’s greatest detective is so convinced that I’m Kira… and I have to admit, I have thought in the past that some people deserved death… what if my subconscious takes over somehow, like when I’m asleep or something, and I’m actually the one killing these people?” 

L couldn’t even begin to list the number of flaws in that argument. His rational brain rejected it immediately, there were so many holes. And so many ways to prove it incorrect. But was it to his benefit to call for a psychiatric exam just to prove Light wrong? He wondered if Light could fool a trained professional… no, he couldn’t trust a report of such significance conducted without his supervision. 

Meanwhile, Matsuda and Aizawa were arguing about the possibility of Light killing people in his sleep. Soichiro quieted them with a glare. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by L.

“And what makes you think, if you were Kira as you said, that I would do what you want me to?”

Light bit his lip and didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. They both knew that L’s mind was made up.

As a matter of principle, L didn’t usually listen to suggested courses of action from suspected serial killers. But here… especially when he was planning on doing it at some point anyway, and especially when he honestly had no other idea of what to do… he had no choice. And they both knew that.

“Fine. Arrest him.”

* * *

  
  


L’s POV:

L crouched on his chair and stared at the screens in front of him with laser-focused intensity. The darkness of the room made the artificially bright screens illuminate the bags under his eyes, bags that had grown twofold since arresting Light. 

It had been nearly two weeks since then. The killings had indeed stopped and the evidence surrounding Light was near indisputable with both Kira suspects held in their respective cells under constant surveillance.

His eyes rested on Light’s face, grainy as it was through the video feed, as he wondered for the tenth time why Light had offered himself up. It couldn’t have been for Misa’s sake, could it? His profile of Kira suggested that he was a narcissistic psychopath who could feel little to no empathy for others. And, so far, Light had fulfilled every part of that. L was big enough to admit that his profile wasn’t airtight, that it was a guideline only, but still, demonstrating enough emotional attachment to another person to put himself at risk was beyond what he thought a psychopath could do.

Light truly did look terrible in there. His usual put-together appearance had devolved to greasy hair and ill-fitting clothing. His posture was impeccable as always, despite spending over two weeks sitting on the concrete floor. L grimaced. If this kept up, Light could probably last a very long while, longer than the detectives would let him hold him. At least the killings had stopped. That bit of evidence made it all worth it, he told himself.

He looked over to Misa’s screen. As always, she was mumbling random strings of words, and as usual, Watari’s figure hovered in the corner copying it down as best he could in case there was a clue in something she said. 

It was odd… before Light had offered himself up, there was a definite shift in her behavior. She _was_ the second Kira, he knew that much. The hair and fibers pointed directly at her. And, after the first individual evidence he managed to collect in the case, he was reluctant to drop suspicion. 

But this change in behavior… before it occurred, he knew he could convict her. It would’ve been the easiest thing in the world to crack her open and drag a confession out of her. She was nearly there, too. After… it was like she was a different person. Still rather airheaded, but somehow much more convincing in giving off the impression that she knew nothing. L even ordered the torture to stop. There was no point.

The third screen offered a view of Soichiro sitting silently in his cell, staring straight ahead. Coping with his son’s arrest the best way he could. L knew they were completely different people, but he still respected Soichiro’s determination and dedication to his duty. He made a mental note to make routine psychological checkups on Soichiro. The detective had made too many comments about failing his duty as a father to Light for L to be comfortable turning off the screen. Besides, he still had a wife and daughter to look after. L was about 99% certain they were innocent in all this. He didn’t want them to lose more than they had to.

Light stood up and waved to the camera, drawing L’s attention. What had he to say now?

* * *

  
  


Light’s POV:

God, sitting here was boring. Light wished he had a magazine or something to look through to stave off the suffocating dullness. The cell itself was grey concrete tinted yellow from the single light hanging from a wire near the ceiling. The bed was creaky, the toilet just a hole in the ground, and the food blander than his sister’s personality.

The only entertainment was Ryuk, but he couldn’t acknowledge him in any way or else risk L figuring out the truth. That man was annoyingly perceptive. Light knew he didn’t buy his tearful act for a second. If he were that stupid, Light would have won this game long ago. 

L was a better actor than Light initially thought. He actually thought L had been taken in by Misa, starstruck beyond his usual sense of reason. Weren’t guys like him supposed to be closet pervs? Desperately jerking off to pictures of women like Misa in their basements? That stereotype didn’t seem to apply to L, who managed to fool Light so utterly that he had never wanted to kill him more than that moment. 

He felt like a goddamn fool. Why couldn’t he cover for himself? Why did he have to stand there like a fucking idiot while L held up Misa’s buzzing phone? He swore L got off to tricking him like that. He’d done it how many times now? At least thrice. Light couldn’t remember being made into such a fool by anyone else before. Even now, he had to use breathing exercises to prevent his hands from shaking in rage. He’d make L pay… but later. When he managed to maneuver out of the trap L had so effortlessly entangled him in.

Ryuk began to shake. “Oh no,” he whispered. One by one, Ryuk’s limbs began to twist into abnormal formations, his elbow inversing and raising above his head, his spine twisting him around, and his legs folding up behind him.

What? Oh, withdrawals. For all their hype, Shinigami really were pathetic. Hadn’t Ryuk spent countless years in the Shinigami world, surviving all that time without apples? At first, he thought Ryuk was just doing it out of boredom to annoy him. Now he just thought Ryuk was an idiot.

How long had it been? Two weeks? More? His internal clock was shot to hell, not being able to tell what was day or night. He tried to judge the days based on meal times, which he thought was around three times a day. More often than he thought he’d get food, but he supposed he wasn’t officially in prison yet. And wouldn’t be, if this next sequence of events went off without a hitch. After all, only one thing could directly link him to Kira, and that was about to be destroyed. It was time.

Light stood and waved at the camera to get L’s attention. If he was even there. “Ryuzaki!” he croaked out as loud as he could manage. His voice was raspy from disuse. “Have the killings stopped? What’s going on?”

His voice echoed a bit against the walls and faded into silence. No response. He opened his mouth to repeat himself when a small pop marked the activation of the intercom.

“ _Yes, the killings have stopped,_ ” the warbling of the modified voice came.

Ryuk cackled. “This gambit seems a bit counterproductive if you ask me. Giving L more evidence against you was kind of a stupid move.”

It was a bit unnerving to see Ryuk’s head twisted around in the corner of his eye. Light forced himself to resist glancing in Ryuk’s direction. He sat back down, sighing heavily. “Damn. All this useless pride. I suppose all I can do is _get rid of it_.”

Ryuk didn’t give any sign of hearing him, preoccupied with untangling his impossibly long legs from around his own neck, One leg went wild and brushed against the hanging lightbulb before Ryuk managed to regain control over it. Panic bubbled in Light’s throat. If he had to repeat that phrase again, there was the chance that L would catch on, something to avoid at all costs.

After a few more seconds of Light’s throat slowly closing, Ryuk stiffened. He immediately unraveled and gave Light a searching look. Light pointedly looked away from Ryuk.

“Ok then. See ya, Light,” Ryuk said, his lips curving slightly as he took one last look at Light. Then he turned around and phased through the wall of the cell.

That was the last Light saw of Ryuk for a very long time. 

* * *

L’s POV:

That was the first time Light had spoken in fourteen hours. L stared at the screen even more intently. He wished the video was of higher quality, as the grainy feed made it difficult to discern precise movements, but he could have sworn he saw the light in the cell sway slightly. What did that? There was no air current in those holding cells, he knew that for sure. In the fourteen days he’d been watching, that bulb had not moved once past Light’s initial inspection of the cell.

In his peripheral, he saw Light distinctly twitch onscreen. Light’s spine straightened and he looked directly at the camera again, scrambling to his feet.

“Ryuzaki! Ryuzaki, are you there? Listen to me! You have to get me out of here!”

L’s processors nearly crashed trying to compute this request. What- what was going on? What was this behavior? It was irrational even for Light. He pressed the intercom button. “You do realize this was your idea, yes? You wanted to be locked up. ‘For as long as it takes,’ you said.”

“I know!” Light’s voice cracked with desperation. “But I’m not Kira! You have to believe me!”

L’s internal lie detector remained silent. Was he expected to believe Light was telling the truth? What was he playing at? And yet, this didn’t feel like a game anymore. L couldn’t explain it… something about the board had shifted, as though a toddler had run through and overturned the game pieces.

Despite knowing better, despite _knowing_ Light was Kira, the impassioned plea caused doubt to pang in L’s chest. He pushed it away before it could infect his mind. This was just what Light wanted, he told himself angrily. 

Light began to beg, falling to his knees now, for L to let him out. L’s hands shook. He didn’t trust himself to speak. Slowly, he drew in a long breath to concentrate. Breathed out for six counts. In for eight. This was a puzzle just like any other. Well, maybe not a common puzzle, but one that could be solved nonetheless. He just needed to reexamine the pieces, pick them off the floor, and replace them on the board. As he focused on his breathing, he shut out all outside noise.

He thought back over the past five minutes. One small detail poked out at him. Just like Misa, there was a distinct moment where Light’s behavior shifted, where irregularities stacked around the prisoner. L ignored Light’s screaming to be released and transferred the feed over to another monitor so he could replay that specific timestamp from Misa’s interrogation. 

There! A distinct twitch, identical Light’s. A motion that was originally hidden by her near-constant thrashing. He’d have to wait to replay Light’s feed, but that was all the confirmation he needed. Something more was going on here than a simple attempt to throw him off. 

What the hell was going on?


	4. Two Dates and a Hotel Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L struggle to fulfill Misa's demands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer but develops the beginning of non-Kira Light/L dynamics

L’s POV:

The killings began again a week later. Yet Light still sat locked in his cell, shoulders slumped forward, staring listlessly at the ground. Misa had also fallen silent. Neither even begged for release anymore. L didn’t know what to think. He had never been so sure of anything before in his life, that Light Yagami was Kira and Misa was quite literally his partner in crime.

L ran through possible explanations in his head. Perhaps Light and Misa came up with this plan that night she visited his house, as an emergency in case either were captured… but if that were the case, Misa wouldn’t be nearly as convincing as she was. He had spent enough time studying her to know she was a terrible liar. Even Matsuda could catch her from time to time. 

Pressure mounted from the other detectives. Pressure to release Light and Misa, pressure to drop his suspicions, pressure to leave the case. The last one hadn’t been spoken aloud yet, but he could tell from the sideways glances and lack of conversation whenever he entered the room that they all felt that way. He couldn’t blame them. A small part of him wished he’d never even taken the case. But just as the proof he needed eluded him, neither was he able to let go, to admit to everyone that he was a failure, that Light Yagami had utterly destroyed him.

He had no choice. L had to let Light and Misa go, or else risk the pitiful remainder of his allies turning on him. He’d managed at least, to force the rest of the detectives to agree to one last test for the two. To his great surprise, Soichiro had eagerly consented to it, even volunteering to be the guinea pig in it all. L supposed it was only natural to jump at the chance to conclude Light’s innocence once and for all if he was family.

And… Light and Misa had passed. Soichiro was still alive and testified to their innocence. Strangely, Soichiro’s testimony was the only one that L could accept in that scenario, despite how close and emotionally invested he was to the chief suspect in the investigation. Perhaps it was because of that very closeness… combined with the kind of person that Soichiro was, his commitment to justice, to his own moral compass. L had enough of a measure of Soichiro’s moral compass to respect him greatly. The man would never put family over duty in this type of situation, which was more than he could say for the other detectives.

What surprised him about all of this most of all was Light’s eagerness to still work the Kira case. And… something else he couldn’t explain. No, he could explain it, he just didn’t want to. It was almost like… like Light was a different person. Earnest. Honest. That calculating look had disappeared, his words no longer rang hollow in L’s ears. The more he studied Light, the more sure he was that this man, as he was, could never have been Kira. And yet, he was also sure that Light, as he was before, was Kira.

And that was even without factoring in the potential existence of Shinigami. That gods of death were active players in the world. He didn’t know what to think anymore.

Of small comfort to L was that there were significant differences between these killings and the ones before. This killer still used heart attacks, but the victims had changed drastically. Instead of criminals, either convicted or suspected, it seemed to be just random people. To any other eye at least. L and the detectives all saw the connection: business. All of the new victims were somehow connected to the business world, and all of those connections were towards the top hierarchies. It was a completely different MO.

It supported his current theory that this Kira was different from the one he knew before. Though he had little faith in his theories any more. It seemed that more and more often he had to work off unverified information and stretches of logic, and yet the pressure to be correct had only increased.

Their base of operations moved. Now, instead of switching from hotel to hotel, Watari arranged for control over the entire APA building in the region. Of course, the entire building was reworked to have high-grade security to prevent anyone already involved with the investigation from entering. 

Misa requested that she and Light be able to continue dating in exchange for her full cooperation with the investigation. It was too good of a deal to pass up, though L put little trust into Misa’s fickle nature. Her moods turned like the wind, and he expected her to make further demands at any moment. Demands he needed to be prepared to counter.

* * *

L looked away from the window, away from the harsh sunlight that burned his eyes. Light sat on the couch next to him, a respectful two feet between them, entertaining Misa’s constant droning with a polite mask. L could tell that he was bored. Bored and more than a little peeved. Though, he couldn’t tell what annoyed Light more: Misa or being handcuffed to L.

It was his best idea yet, he thought sarcastically. What better way to ensure that Light was no longer Kira? 

For the fifth time that day, Light looked sidelong at him, as though he had something to say. When Misa had finished her tangent of the disgusting habits of her manager, Light spoke up. “Ryuzaki, is this really necessary?”

“Yes.” L reached towards his cup of hot chocolate with the hand that was attached to Light’s, dragging his along for the ride. “While I’m 90% certain that you are no longer Kira, I cannot say for certain that Kira’s power will not find its way back to you. It’s safe to assume that when you volunteered yourself to be imprisoned, you had a plan for giving it up. There’s no guarantee you also didn’t have a plan for taking it back, so as of right now I can’t quite trust you. This way, we can be sure that one, that 10% margin of error doesn’t play into this scenario, and two, you don’t revert to your murderous Kira self.”

Light opened his mouth to argue, but Misa interrupted him.

“Um, Mr. Ryuzaki sir? Could Light and I have some alone time? You know, we are boyfriend and girlfriend, and we haven’t been able to be together in a super long time.”

Did she not listen to a word he’d just said? L stared at her incredulously.

Light responded in L’s place. “Misa, I don’t think that he _can_ leave. At least, not without me.”

“But if he needs to watch, he can just do it on video! I don’t mind!” 

Light held his head in his hands. “Misa… no. That’s… not how this is gonna work.”

Misa stuck her lips into a pout. Did this sort of thing work on most people?

L looked sidelong at Light, who struggled to hide the exasperation on his face. Ok, so he wasn’t the only one. “I should inform you both, we placed surveillance cameras around Light’s house for several weeks and found nothing. There’s no reason why they should be effective now.”

“Besides,” Light said. “The more we cooperate with the investigation, the sooner we’ll be let off the hook. The sooner we can go back to normal.”

At the words “back to normal,” Misa appeared to perk up. Light and L exchanged relieved glances. When she got into one of her moods, things usually got ugly. At the very least, a table would be overturned, and with it the trays of biscuits and shortcakes that rested on top of it. That was the last thing L wanted.

L returned to staring out the window as Misa began to chatter excitedly once more about plans for the future. 

“Oh my god, Light, it would be so cute if we painted the walls pink and yellow!”

“I don’t- like a circus tent? I don’t think apartment complexes allow-”

“No, silly, we’d get a house! Oh, and we could make the baby’s room glow in the dark!” 

In unison, L choked on his hot cocoa and Light broke out into a sputtering cough.

“The-the baby?”

“Well we’re gonna have one eventually, Light,” Misa said, placing her hands on her stomach.

Alarm shone on Light’s face. “Wait, you- you’re not-”

“Of course not, silly. We haven’t even had sex yet!”

L had to stifle a laugh. The look on Light’s face was priceless. Though he did feel a weight rise from his own shoulders. Murder investigations got a lot more complicated when an involved party was pregnant. 

He had to pity Light. He was playing it off well, but L could tell that the anxiety was hitting him hard, and Misa going on about their future together probably wasn’t helping. 

“Hey, Mr. Ryuzaki?”

“You can drop the Mr.”

“Oh! Ok, um… is that the only outfit you have?”

L blinked. “Uh, no.”

“Oh. Why don’t you ever switch it up?”

“Uh…”

“Oh my god, we can have a shopping day! Add a pop of color into your style, maybe get you to accessorize!”

Now it was Light’s turn to stifle a laugh. Amusement danced behind his eyes as he took in L’s startled face.

“No thanks, I don’t really shop.”

“What? What do you do all day then? How do you get your clothes?”

“I… already had them. So I wore them. Then I cleaned them and wore them again. It’s a fairly simple process.”

“Ryuzaki likes to pretend he’s this mysterious guy, but in reality, he’s pretty simple,” Light chimed in.

Misa pouted. “At least you put in an effort into your appearance, Light!”

L shrugged. He had no leg to stand on, nor did he care to argue the point. Light always seemed to be well-groomed, which was more than he could ever say for himself. The most L did was shave and call it a good day’s work. 

“That’s thanks to my mom. She said she’d be damned if her son dressed as terribly as her husband. Though, to tell the truth, Ryuzaki’s style looks far more comfortable.” Light scratched the back of his neck absentmindedly. “I’m kind of envious,” he chuckled.

 _Light’s a killer_. The intrusive thought came before L could stop it. He forced it back down. The important thing was that he wasn’t anymore, he told himself. This was a different Light. 

_Is it?_

* * *

Light’s POV:

At long last, Misa was escorted to a different room. Their ‘date’ was over. Light stood at the door and placed his hand on his cheek where she had kissed him goodbye. She was a nice girl, he supposed. Certainly not malicious, just a bit air-headed and short-tempered. 

He straightened his button-up shirt and turned back around to see L’s hand hanging over the edge of the couch, dragged there by Light’s movement toward the door. In the hand was clutched a napkin.

“I believe she left a lipstick stain on your cheek,” L said, not even looking over.

“Oh… thanks.” He took the napkin. Oh boy. This was gonna be an awkward question. “Do you, uh… well, do know what I should do?”

“A signed confession would be nice but ineffective at this point. Unless you manage to remember something about Kira’s powers, in which case a full report would be-”

“No, I don’t mean-” Light scratched the back of his neck. “I just- I don’t know, I just don’t think I feel anything for her.”

L was silent. The only movement he made was lifting his cup to his lips. Well, that was probably inevitable. He shouldn’t have expected L to be responsive in a conversation about feelings. He angrily wiped the lipstick mark from his cheek.

“When did this start?” L asked.

Light paused, collecting his thoughts. “Um… well, I don’t know if I ever did, really. Like… she’s cute, but I think she’s more into the relationship than I am. Always has been. And then right after we started dating, she was taken in, so even though we’ve technically been together for months, we really haven’t been, you know, _together_. I don’t know, everything just happened so fast.”

“But you volunteered yourself for her. Are you saying that you just did that because it suited you? Or did you think it would score you points with the investigation?”

Light recoiled at the hostility in L’s voice. “No, nothing like that! I think… I just felt responsible for her. Like I had to protect her because… it was my fault she was arrested to begin with.”

He struggled to put it into words, as gifted as he was with them. He just hoped L would understand. L seemed to follow everything put to him, or at least, more than anyone else. Light didn’t know if he was as adept with relationship issues as he was with criminal psychology, but what was the difference between the two, really?

Light slumped into the chair Misa had previously occupied, the chain between the two almost pulled taut. “It’s just… like I felt that it was my duty, you know? Like I had to, not because I felt anything for her, but because it was what I was supposed to do.”

“A real knight in shining armor to her damsel in distress,” L said sarcastically.

Light flinched. “As much as I hate to say it… yeah. Pretty much.” He didn’t even know why he was telling L this. He probably didn’t care, or was trying to twist this into proof of his guilt in that incomprehensible mind of his. 

“I… suppose that makes sense. We can cut the dates down to a minimum, they haven’t been providing anything of value to the investigation anyways.”

“Great.” Light stared at a coffee stain on the table. Apparently Misa didn’t like to use coasters, as she’d ignored the one right next to the cup she’d been using.

L sighed, before setting his mug onto the table. “I’ll admit, I don’t have much personal experience to help you with this. But, after observing her behavioral patterns, it might be best to wait until this current period of emotional turmoil has passed before you do anything drastic. We need her to be cooperative with the investigation, and a breakup right now would probably set her back. She doesn’t do anything unless you tell her to do it, you know.”

“Yeah. Ok.”

“I can’t say that I’m sorry, because I’m not. But I do know how draining she can be. After all, I have to sit through all of this as well. So I understand what you mean.”

Light didn’t know how to explain it, but L seemed off. Throughout this entire time, he’d been speaking listlessly, monotonously, not even bothering to look at him. It seemed like even taking the effort to respond to him was almost too much for L. 

Well fine then. Some peace and quiet was probably welcome after spending hours with Misa. Light just hoped that L would get over this funk.

* * *

The next day, Misa requested another date. Begrudgingly, Light and L obliged. This time they were in Misa’s room, which she had obviously spent a lot of time decorating. String lights were up on the walls, twinkling and filling the room with warm light, and there were two couches facing each other that were positively stuffed with multicolored fuzzy blankets and pillows. It reminded Light of his sister’s room.

Light and L sat on one couch, leaving Misa on the other. Light yawned. At this point, he was developing bags like L, though not nearly as drastic. 

“Oh my god, Light, are you ok? You look awful,” Misa said, wrinkling her nose. As usual, her tact was nonexistent. 

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t get much sleep.” In fact, he got none. L didn’t either. Apparently this was a normal occurrence for L, which was difficult for Light to even fathom. It was hard enough going one night without sleep, let alone weeks. Even his studies never kept him up that late. The two had stayed up working on leads for the case, tracking people of interest who could be Kira, and came up with nothing to show for it. He didn’t know how L did it.

L looked positively bored. Light sympathized but knew he couldn’t let any of the same feeling show, or he’d hurt Misa. He smiled at her politely and let her words fly through his ears as she went off on her latest tangent about how creepy she found each of the other detectives, especially Ryuzaki. 

Light saw the corners of L’s mouth twitch when Misa called him every synonym in the book for pervert. He wished she’d leave L alone sometimes, but he didn’t seem to mind too much. In fact, he didn’t pay attention to anything nowadays. Even when they were working on the case last night, he was distant. Well, more distant than usual.

Eventually, Misa got back onto the topic of L’s appearance. “You could at least _try_ to clean yourself up a bit, you know. A little bit of concealer could definitely cover some of the bags, but you’d need a monster of a brand to make a big enough dent.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” L said, grabbing a plate of cake from the table. “Does anyone want this last piece? No? Good.”

Misa wrinkled her nose again. “Cake makes you fat, you know. Eat too much and you’ll lose your figure. If you even have one to begin with, I mean.”

“I’ve found that as long as one burns the calories by using their brain, they can’t gain weight.”

“Are you calling me stupid?!”

“Not directly.”

Light figured he should intervene, but a part of him didn’t want to. Wanted to see where this led. But another, stronger part took control. He needed to know. “Hey, cut it out you two. Ryuzaki, what’s going on? You’ve been really unmotivated lately. Well, unmotivated for you.”

L took a bite of cake before answering. “Yes. I suppose I have. I’m actually quite depressed.”

“What? Why?” Could super detectives get depressed? He thought L functioned like a robot, barely needing sleep, not doing or feeling anything that wasn’t logical or pre-programmed. Actually, the more he thought about that, the more he understood. That may be how L acted, but he was still human. That had to take a toll on him.

“It’s this case. And to be frank, you.”

“You mean because your deductions were wrong?”

L turned his gaze on Light. Light felt a chill run down his spine. “No, I wasn’t wrong. There is no doubt in my mind that you and Misa were both Kira.”

“You’re still on about that? Haven’t we done enough to prove that we’re not Kira? My own father nearly killed me, Ryuzaki!” Anger bubbled in Light’s chest. “You just can’t stand the fact that your fucking _brilliant_ mind made a mistake about us! If you don’t admit it, you’re not wrong, yeah?”

L calmly waited for him to finish. Somehow, that just made Light angrier, but he held his tongue. “If you’d let me finish, I’d explain that, at the same time, I also have no doubt that you two are no longer Kira.”

“Oh, perfect. How convenient for you. You keep your pride and us under your thumb.”

“We know that Kira can control people’s actions before their deaths. And after analyzing the data, I’ve also concluded that Kira’s power can pass from person to person. While neither of you are Kira anymore, I can’t be sure that they’re not controlling your actions right now.”

“Wait…” If that were true… “If Kira’s power can be passed on, then how are going to catch them?”

“Hence my pessimism.” L sighed heavily. “There’s just no point anymore.”

Scarlet tendrils of anger reached for Light’s mind, squeezing their fingers so tightly his mind went blank. The next thing he knew, he was standing over L’s fallen body, his fist stinging. “Don’t you _dare_ say that, not after what Misa and I have been through. You have no right to give up. None. Not while I’m still here,” he hissed.

Misa clapped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide with shock as she scrambled backward. L slowly brought his hand up to his reddening cheek, probing his teeth with his tongue.

L had a strange look in his eye as he finally lifted his head. “An eye for an eye,” he whispered. 

Pain exploded in Light’s head as L’s foot connected with the side of his face. His body went weightless for a second before crashing back to the ground. The chain pulled taut on his wrist as L lost his balance and was pulled along, landing on top of him and knocking the breath from his lungs.

Misa screamed, backing up even further against the wall. 

Light struggled to breathe. L sat up, putting his weight on Light’s legs and preventing him from standing. Blood trickled out of the corner of L’s mouth as he placed his hand on Light’s chest and pushed him flat.

“Don’t misunderstand me,” L hissed. “I’m not giving up.”

“Prove it then,” Light said, his voice hoarse.

The two glared at one another. Light felt L shift on top of him, and he tensed, getting ready to spring into action, to twist out from under L’s legs. He felt fire roar in the pit of his stomach. He knew he could win, he _had_ to win. 

The phone rang, shattering the tense silence. Light and L’s attention snapped towards it. 

Misa picked it up. “Um, hello?” she said, her voice breaking slightly. After a couple of seconds, she held it out towards L. “It’s for you.”

L shifted his weight off Light and took the phone from Misa. His legs now free, Light stood up, watching L carefully.

“Who is it?” he asked.

L hung up the phone. “Matsuda’s being an idiot again.”

The hostile air between them didn't fade as a grin crept across Light’s face. “What else is new?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand we're building the foundations. Slooooow burn.


	5. A Little R&R Never Killed Anyone, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L may or may not be pushing himself a bit far for someone with severe insomnia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: intrusive thoughts

Light’s POV:

The metallic walls of the new control center dully reflected the light from the computer screens. The other detectives had not yet arrived, and Light and L were working silently next to one another, still handcuffed together. After staring fruitlessly in concentration at the screens for the past several hours, Light could feel a headache forming behind his eyes. He hoped looking through the files they gathered on the new victims would grant his head a break, but after thirty minutes the pain just grew stronger. Even L seemed a bit strained.

Frustrated, Light slammed the file back onto the pile. L looked over from his own screen, mildly curious. 

“How do you do it?” Light asked. They were the first words spoken between the two since their fight earlier that day.

“Do what?”

“Stare at these things all day! It’s only been a few hours and already my head is splitting.”

The corners of L’s mouth twitched. “You get used to it. The headache never really goes away, but it gets better.”

And he lived like this? Light rubbed his temples. What an inconvenience. Well, he guessed it was probably easy to force the pain to the side if something important came up.

He sighed and leaned back, trying to stretch out his aching muscles. Damn. L packed a hell of a kick, his back was still sore from crashing to the ground earlier that day. He couldn’t fault him, not technically. After all, Light did throw the first punch. But a quiet rumble of anger awoke in the pit of his stomach whenever he looked at L. Or was in the same room as him. Or thought about him. All the time, really.

A part of him ached to finish the fight, to see who would really win, who would come out on top, but the common sense part of his brain served as an effective impulse control. His position wasn’t one that could be considered stable, and if he picked another fight, he could be in serious trouble. And he really didn’t want to be the main suspect in the Kira case again. The next time could prove fatal, no matter his innocence. All he could do was grit his teeth and smile.

That didn’t stop him from imagining it though. How he’d escape from underneath L’s weight by leveraging his own, by twisting to the side to break L’s grip and then sliding out. How he’d tackle L, first trapping his core with his own weight and then securing his legs so he couldn’t repeat the same trick again. He was fairly certain he weighed more than L, but it would be close. In that brief moment of surprise when he broke out of L’s hold, he’d have the upper hand though. He imagined what L’s face would look like after being pinned. How would the surprise of being physically outmatched show? It was hard to envision.

“I have to say, you have a decent right hook. My jaw is going to be sore for weeks.”

L’s words startled Light out of his reverie, and for a second, he worried that L had somehow read his mind. But L was still staring at the computer screen in front of him. As the words sunk in, a grin crept across Light’s face. He’d never been in a real fight before, but his father had forced him to go to self-defense training for ten years when he was younger in preparation for when he eventually joined the force. He liked learning to punch. It was simple, effective, and surprisingly difficult to master.

“But you could do better if you tighten your core muscles more. You’re wasting a lot of energy in the swing.”

“Hey, what about your stupid donkey kick? That’s not a waste of energy?”

“Nope.”

Light waited for him to elaborate but L just rubbed sleep from his eyes. Ah. That was it. They fell back into an easy silence for another forty minutes before L spoke again.

“So, are you going to break up with Misa?” His voice sounded a bit strained.

“What?” He wasn’t sure he heard L correctly.

“Are. You. Going... to break up with Misa?”

Now L was just being a dick. Of course he’d rub salt into that wound. “No,” Light said. “Not yet. Maybe when the investigation is over and she’s in a more stable state.” He managed to keep the venom out of his voice and respond as rationally as he could.

“Hmm. That’s smart, I suppose.” L yawned loudly. “She’s not the most stable of individuals in the best of states.”

“Yeah.”

“To be honest I don’t know how you survived dating her, let alone not killing her when you were Kira. After two days in a row with her, it’s like all the energy has been sucked out of me, and I didn’t even have to really interact with her. How did you work with her?”

Maybe L wasn’t being a dick. Maybe he was trying to help in his own weird way. Light supposed he complained about Misa often enough to L that he could take a little of it back. And he didn’t detect any malice in L’s questions, not really. “I don’t know about the Kira stuff, but yeah, dating was… a bit difficult. Is, I mean. I don’t know, have you ever had a girlfriend?”

“No, that sort of thing doesn’t interest me.”

“Why not? I mean, I can’t say the answer surprises me, but I’m kinda curious.”

L paused, gathering his thoughts, his eyes a bit unfocused. “The whole thing seems like an unnecessary distraction with little reward, as you’re likely to either break up or stick with the person despite the brief spark that instigated the entire thing already having been snuffed out by discovering that the flaws in the person that you convinced yourself you didn’t care about actually drive you crazy.” He sounded as though he were quoting something he’d heard before.

“Wow, did someone hurt you or something?” 

“But to tell the truth…” L continued as though Light hadn’t spoken. “I think it’s more that I just don't think I feel for anyone in that way, or ever really will.”

Light raised his eyebrows, impressed. He couldn’t fault L’s answer, not when he hadn’t had any kind of relationship more than skin deep, but he couldn’t help but wonder what gave L that initial impression of love. 

“Actually, lately, I’ve… ” L began. “I’ve had to alter-” he interrupted himself by snapping his mouth shut. He placed his hand to his temple and began to slowly massage it, closing his eyes. He was paler than usual. Even his lips were colorless.

“Uh… are you ok?” Light asked. This level of gauntness was abnormal even for L.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’ll pass.”

Light wasn’t so sure. A couple minutes passed with no change in L’s condition. Light tried to hand him a cup of water, but he just waved him away, nearly knocking it from his grasp. Light could see the veins popping out of L’s neck, the strain revealing itself. 

He was about to suggest that L go lay down, but before the words escaped his lips, L slumped forward and collapsed to the floor.

Before Light knew what he was doing, he moved to L’s side, and his hands pulled L’s unresponsive body up into his lap. He was clammy to the touch.

 _Oh god, please no, please not now, please don’t_ , Light thought. Had Kira finally discovered L’s real name? _Oh god, oh no, no, no, no._

The door to the control room slid open. Soichiro Yagami took one step inside and then froze, his eyes going wide at the scene in front of him.

“Dad!” Light exclaimed, his voice cracking. “Help!”

Soichiro ran to his son’s side, checking L’s pulse with his fingertips. “What happened?”

“I don’t know! He just- he fell out of his chair!”

After a few seconds of tense silence, Soichiro gave a sigh of relief. “He’s still alive.” He took the watch off his wrist and held it to L’s lips. The barest traces of fog appeared on the watch face’s surface. “And breathing.”

“Oh thank god,” Light said, the muscles in his shoulders relaxing slightly.

He didn’t know what he’d do if L had been killed. The only shot they had at catching Kira would be gone, and he’d probably be the number one suspect again. But more than that… he’d lose the only person he could honestly call a friend. The only person who challenged him. The one who’d given him the opportunity to clear his name. If Kira had taken that away from him… the panic that gripped his throat changed to another feeling. One far stronger.

He looked up, fury blazing in his eyes. “What do we do, dad? What’s wrong with him? How do we fix it?”

“What happened?” Soichiro asked, the gravity of the situation etching itself onto his face.

“I don’t know. One second he seemed fine… then he got really pale and tense and collapsed.”

The door to the control room slid open again and Watari walked in. He took in the entire scenario in a second, from L unconscious on Light’s lap, Soichiro holding his watch to L’s lips, to their panicked expressions, and then ran to L’s side, immediately checking for a pulse. Once he found it, he relaxed and slumped backward. 

“Oh dear. It appears he’s overdone it again,” Watari said.

“You mean this has happened before?” Light demanded.

“Only rarely and only in cases where he didn’t take the proper precautions. He didn’t sleep at all last night, is that correct, Light?”

“Um, yeah. What does that-”

“And there was all the excitement earlier this afternoon… did he eat at all afterward?”

“I- I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I wasn’t paying attention.”

Soichiro cleared his throat. “What’s going on, Watari?”

Watari sighed. “Ryuzaki gets very little sleep, which makes the couple hours that he does get all the more crucial. To gain energy for the time he spends awake, he must consume sugar and caffeine at regular intervals. It appears that between the lack of his usual two hours of rest and the fight that broke out earlier, it must have slipped his mind. Normally, I am able to correct these imbalances, but unfortunately I was out on an errand per his request. I will make doubly sure this does not happen again.”

Light blinked in surprise. “So- so he’s ok?”

“Well, ok is a relative term. But yes, he will be fine.”

Light relaxed his grip on L's unconscious form, only realizing how tight it was as the color flooded back into his knuckles. He would be ok.

Soichiro sat back and put his face in his hands. He spoke through his fingers, “Oh thank god… I was terrified Kira had finally gotten him. That would have been the end of everything.”

“Not everything,” Light said, trying to cheer his father up. “We still have a-”

“Yes. Everything. We’re being asked to abandon the case. I just got off the phone with the NPA.”

Light gaped at him. Watari nodded solemnly as if he had expected this. 

Soichiro continued, “I meant to wait until everyone else arrived, but now it’s probably better to get Ryuzaki here to a hosp-”

“No,” interrupted Watari. “A hospital is too vulnerable. I will have a room fitted for use immediately.” He strode to the elevator and began to make a call on his cell phone. While it was ringing, he called over, “Bring him to Room 417, please. Your normal card keys will enable entry.”

Light felt the nerves rush out of his body as Watari’s casual and relaxed manner eased the seeming emergency. He shook his head. So this was all L being careless? He wanted to get angry with him, to force him to take care of himself, but found the feeling just wasn’t there. No, this wasn’t carelessness. It was inevitable.

This was partially his own fault too, Light realized. If he hadn’t pushed him so far, if he’d just managed to keep his temper, L would probably be fine. Not laying crumpled in his lap. Pangs of guilt traced their way up his chest as he felt L draw in small, shuddering breaths.

He’d make this right somehow.

* * *

L’s POV:

The last thing L remembered before everything went fuzzy was compiling a list of each of the major companies in the area Kira had yet to target in the time after he corrected Light’s fighting technique. He _thought_ there was a conversation between that moment and when everything went black? He couldn’t be sure. Damn. He hated it when this happened, it was such an inconvenience.

_You were weak again._

L opened his eyes to see a darkened hotel room. He was laying in bed? How odd, he didn’t remember walking up to his room… this wasn’t his room. He bolted upright, pulling the handcuff that chained him to Light.

“Whoa, man, lay back down,” came Light’s voice. Light was sitting in a chair near the far wall, a book in his lap as he looked on in concern.

“How long was I out?” L demanded. He had to know how much time he’d wasted.

Light shook his head. “No. Lay back down. If you go back to work, you’re gonna pass out again. You need to recover.”

L moved to stand, but Light was faster, pushing him back down on the bed. Angrily, L swiped at Light, but he easily dodged. He struggled to sit up, but Light’s hand pushed against his chest and forced him back down. The look in Light’s eyes caused a trill of fear to pang in his stomach. L looked about the room for help but no one else was there. Damn him. Damn his need for control. 

L gritted his teeth. The glint in Light’s eyes terrified him, so he looked at the wall instead. As much as he wanted to fight this, he knew he couldn’t win in this position. It took all the effort he could muster just to take that swing at Light. Maybe he was right. Maybe it would be smart to rest.

_Rest? How pathetic. You're a frail coward. A pitiful child._

“I’m fine, Light. I just need to get back to work. Every second we waste is another second Kira wins.” 

Light didn’t hesitate to counter. “And every second you spend resting is another step towards catching him. We need you, Ryuzaki, but at your best. Just think. If you still thought I was Kira, would you let yourself decline to this state? Or would you make sure you were at peak performance?”

L grimaced. He couldn’t argue with that, not without making himself a liar. And he had no way of physically getting out of this.

_Weak._

“Fine.” Slowly, he relaxed.

Light grinned and lifted his hand off of L’s chest. L could still feel the warmth of it. He fought the urge to rub the area where it had been. Light sat back down in his chair and reopened his book, his hair falling into his eyes.

As much as L hated to admit it, he’d be in trouble if they ever fought for real again. He relied upon surprise attacks, gaining control over the fight in the first couple moves. Light, based on the punch he landed, had some training in combat, something L hadn’t expected from someone as focused on studies as he was. And… Light was stronger. L’s technique was better, but in a contest of raw power, Light would win, and they both knew it. 

_You're powerless._

It was a sore point for him, admitting that. Losing, especially losing to Light, was something he could hardly bear to think about. It was bad enough that he collapsed in front of him, _twice_ now. He was weak. Powerless. And there was nothing he could do about it. Sure, he could try to do better, but if passing out was the result, it was pointless. He was pointless. The inky darkness welling up inside him turned its nasty skeletal head, and he could feel its rot spread in his chest. 

He needed to engage with, to focus on something and distract himself from the pit he felt himself plummeting toward. But he knew Light wouldn’t budge, wouldn’t give him any case files. His head was fuzzy, offering him a chance to refocus his thoughts. To change the track his thoughts were going down. What happened before he passed out?

He said something to Light… what was it? It had something to do with… feelings. As odd as it sounded, L knew he wasn't wrong about that. He had instigated a conversation about feelings… why? He hadn’t… said anything strange, had he? Well, if he had said something weird, it was going to be awkward anyway. 

“Light…” L began, hesitating.

“Yeah?”

“How did I get here?” That was the simplest way to put it. 

Light looked up from his book, a broad grin creeping across his face. “Oooooh, so you don’t remember?”

Damn him. Light was going to milk this for all he was worth, wasn’t he? “If I did I wouldn’t be asking.”

“Well, you passed out. And I carried you here. And then you woke up.”

“You’re not nearly as amusing as you think you are.” L waited for Light to elaborate. After two minutes of silence, nothing more was forthcoming. Damn him. He looked around for something to do, but the room was empty. Except for the TV. Normally he didn’t watch TV, but he needed to distract himself before the thoughts took over again.

 _Pathetic. You want Light to know you need something as idiotic as that to use as a crutch?_ He caught himself before it went further. _Shut up, shut up, shut up._

He cleared his throat. “I need to keep my screen time up or else risk getting desensitized," he stated matter-of-factly. "That would ruin years of hard work. I need my computer."

“Hah, no. You’re not allowed to look at anything related to the case or anything that will stress you out,” Light said.

L glared at Light's smug expression. He hardly needed help stressing himself out. “Where’s Watari?”

“He left you in my excellent care. But you know what, if you need to look at a screen that badly, you've got it, man. Now, we’re gonna watch television, and you’re gonna like it.”

Light was much easier to manipulate than L thought. But somehow it wasn't satisfying at all. He got what he wanted, so why did he feel like he just lost?

Light picked up the remote and began channel surfing. They quickly found there were only two channels. Evidently Watari did not like paying for extended services.

“Ok, so we can either watch a German claymation movie about talking cars... or… reruns of an American sitcom.”

“Both sound so engaging,” L said sarcastically. “I truly can’t decide.”

“The sitcom it is. At least we speak enough English to understand most of it.”

L had never seen the show before, but he was mildly curious. He thought Mello had raved about it a few years ago, but from what he heard, it seemed pointless and impractical. If he wanted to study human behavior, all he had to do was observe the area around him. That mugging outside the hotel provided far more insight into human instincts than whatever this was.

They made it all of two minutes into the episode before L couldn’t resist commenting.

“So is he the douche trope where he gets a redemption arc and ultimately becomes a better person, therefore ‘earning’ the girl obsessed with fashion's attention?” L asked, pointing at the screen.

Light grimaced. “Nope. He's actually the sympathetic nerd trope where he's a hopeless romantic and nothing is ever his fault.”

“So he doesn’t end up with her?”

“No, he does.”

“American TV makes no sense.” L plucked at the loose threads in the comforter. 

“Have you never seen this before?”

“Why would I watch four or so seasons of something that portrays average people with average problems of average morality with no real consequences to any of their actions?”

Light laughed. “Actually, there’s ten seasons.”

“Like I said. It makes no sense.”

The show was quite disappointing after all the hype he heard, and L’s opinion of Mello lowered considerably. As it played, sometimes out of the corner of his eye L saw Light look up from his book at him. Whenever that happened, L pointed out another illogical aspect of the show, eliciting a chuckle from him. 

L supposed it could be worse. He could be stuck here alone. Watari would not hesitate to lock him in just to force him to rest, not after last time. He could be staring into nothingness with nothing to distract him from his thoughts. This just proved his instincts in chaining the two of them together were spot on. 

Besides… he’d never done something like this before. He’d never just watched a show with… well, with a friend. Because no matter how much or little he still was suspicious, he considered Light his friend. When he initially proclaimed it to Light, it was simply a tool to throw him off, to make Kira panic, but the more time that passed, the more he found it to be true. He was the only person he could actually speak to without having to explain or repeat himself. Most people just called him rude or condescending when he spoke. Light treated him as a peer. He’d never really had a peer before. Even Near and Mello were more his proteges than anything else.

And… there was something satisfying about making Light laugh.

He eased back into the pillows as the laugh track played in the background. He hoped Kira's power never returned to Light, or else he feared he just lost the war. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get some sleep kids, and take care of yourselves. You need it.


	6. For Best Results, Repeat Daily in Mirror: "I'm Not Julius Caesar" x4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery's a bitch for L, but at least by the end of it all, he's got a better grasp on things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it only happens once in this chapter, but in case of confusion, Matsuda is referred to in dialogue by his alias, Matsui

L’s POV:

After the incident, Watari decreed that L have at least an hour of non-Kira related activity each evening before his minimal two hours of rest, and Light was only too happy to offer his name forward to ensure this. Watari immediately agreed to allow Light to handle it. It was the most convenient solution since they were already handcuffed together, though the time they spent was still being recorded for the sake of L’s safety.

All of that was decided despite L’s protests to Watari. He didn’t need a babysitter, and he certainly didn’t need to waste more time on pointless drivel. At least, that was until Watari had suggested using the time to monitor Light without the distraction of the case, to see how he functioned on a personal level, and if it was an act, to catch him in it. To grab the knife before it plunged into his back.

Hence why he and Light were now sitting on the floor in his room. L sat in his usual position on his haunches across from Light, his attention focused on the chessboard in between them. He was a little rusty; Light was actually giving him a bit of trouble. After five moves in, both of their queens had already been taken off the board. The number of technical mistakes between the two of them built a mountain of idiocy. 

After Light trapped yet another pawn with his own, L sighed in disappointment. He hated chess. He was always forced to play it with Near, which didn't make many fond memories. “My little brother loves game theory," he found himself saying. "He’d go ballistic if he could see us, correcting every move we make. But playing technically sound is no fun. There’s no risk to it.”

“Wait, you have a brother?”

L hesitated. He knew he really shouldn’t give Light any more information. He could be able to figure out who he was, where he came from, his real name. And if Kira’s power came back to Light, that would be it. He’d die. And yet, he found he couldn’t bring himself to care. “In a sense, yes. In another sense, I just remembered what this piece does,” he said, picking up the king triumphantly and moving it into Light’s bishop’s space.

Light bit his lip. “Uh, Ryuzaki? That’s not what that does. It can only move one square at a time.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t make any sense. If he’s leading his troops on the battlefield, why would he restrict his movement to the point where he’s more useless than a foot soldier? He may as well not have come at all if he’s just going to be a liability to his queen.”

“I don’t think the rules of the game care about that,” Light said, laughing.

“That’s true,” L conceded. “Which is why I created a different version when I was nine. One that actually made sense, and I just remembered the rules to it.”

Excitement drew across Light’s face. “Teach me.”

It took a half-hour to explain the caveats and details of his version of chess. Light listened with rapt attention, nodding in understanding after he finished. Then they reset the board and took out half the pieces. Not once when they resumed playing did Light have to ask for a repeat of any of the rules, L noticed with some amount of relief. He still remembered how many times Mello had to ask for clarification and Near criticized his creation.

Both of them abandoned caution and played with horrific recklessness. L lost half his remaining pawns seeking vengeance against Light’s queen, and Light lost all of his more advanced pieces (other than the royal ones) in pursuit of L’s knight. Whenever the chain of the handcuffs knocked over a soldier, they considered it death by mortar strike. Before he knew it, five games and two and a half hours went by. 

“So you have a brother ‘in a sense?’ What does that mean?” Light asked as they finished another game.

L chewed on the inside of his cheek, calculating how to respond without revealing anything too important. “Well… when I say in a sense, I mean he’s _like_ a brother to me.”

“Oh? What’s his name?”

“Victor.”

“That’s not really his name, is it?”

“No.” He’d let Light think whatever he wanted. What worried him now wasn’t what he’d figure out… it was that for a second, he actually wanted to tell him. He’d have to watch himself more carefully around Light from now on. 

“You still don’t trust me, do you?”

L cocked his head; he didn't think Light would miss something so simple. “Think, Light. Were our positions switched, would you trust me?”

“Probably not, but you don’t really give off a trustworthy vibe, you know?”

“Exact-" L frowned as a creeping suspicion came over him. "Wait, what do you mean? What vibe do I give off?”

“Well… you know, the way you tend to present yourself is a bit… uh...”

“A bit what?”

“Well, you can kinda come off as a bit strange. I mean, it totally works for you, but to most people, it’s kinda creepy.”

“Creepy?”

“Well, for example, I don’t think you’ve blinked even once for about two minutes now. Most people don’t really do that on a regular basis.”

“Actually, that’s a side effect caused by extended periods of time spent on screens-”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Still not normal.” Light's face broke out into a grin, putting L a little more at ease.

When it started, he wasn’t sure if Light was trying to insult him or not. Usually when people said things like that, it was a pointless attempt to upset him, but Light’s tone was casual from the beginning. Joking. He felt his cheeks warm as he reached to reset the game board. “One more game to break the tie?”

“Sure, just one sec.” An odd note in Light’s voice made L look up. 

The next thing he knew, Light’s hands flashed towards his face and a thunderous clap rang out. L scrambled backward in panic, the chain between them tightening and yanking a cackling Light forward. L tensed in preparation for Light’s next attack. It never came.

“Made you blink,” Light cackled.

L flirted with the temptation to lash back, but ultimately discarded the proposal. That would be a monumentally bad idea. On the bright side, the shock revived his tired guard. As his hackles rose, so did his defenses. He’d been too careless. Comfortable. The fact that Light was able to slip past his reflexes with such ease meant that he needed to do better. Be better. 

_Light's a killer, remember? He killed Naomi. He may not remember it, but that doesn't change fact._

_But why? Why can't he remember it?_

Unease settled in the pit of his stomach. The nasty feeling from before, the one that had lain dormant since Light’s imprisonment, reared its ugly head. Something was building, something that could topple everything… but he didn’t know what. He knew the grand architect was Light Yagami, but the pieces to prove it were just out of reach, taunting him. All he could do was wait and prepare. He could only hope he'd be able to act before it all collapsed.

_Hesitation means you lose. The moment Kira's power returns to Light, you must recognize it._

Any further action from Kira would not go unanticipated, he promised himself. His guard would not lower again.

Fifteen minutes later, L emerged from the game victorious. His resolve cemented into place. He would ensure Kira could not win another round of the twisted contest of wits they were locked in. No more losses.

No more Naomi's.

* * *

Light’s POV:

How could Kira kill with just a name and a face? The thought bugged him more and more as time dragged on. He remembered speaking to L about the subject months ago, but the only conclusion they had drawn was that it was somehow supernatural. An unsatisfying explanation to say the least. What bothered him even more though was how _he_ could have killed… he never would have thought he was capable of it. In a sense, he still didn’t. Even though the so-called world’s best detective believed it, Light couldn’t even imagine it. He respected L, but even he was capable of making mistakes, though getting the man to admit it was like getting blood from a stone.

He couldn’t argue with him though, not really. Not with the dreams he’d been having, and not from the evidence he’d seen. Sure, there was nothing _directly_ tying him to the crimes, but Misa on the other hand… there was probably enough to convict in her case. And if _she_ was Kira at some point, it logically followed that he was too. He couldn’t think of any other reason why the two of them would have met. She just showed up to his house one day, but he couldn’t even remember why. How did she even know who he was? Every time he tried to pursue these thoughts, a headache threatened to split his head open.

And then there were the dreams… Well, more flashes than dreams. He’d be walking down an endless street, with only flickering street lamps to light the way, when out of the corner of his eye he’d see it. A skeletal figure with stretched waxy skin that shone dully like moonlight and a grotesque, pierced face. The second he tried to get a closer look, it flitted away, as though it was never there… but he could still feel its sunken eyes staring at him. 

No matter how fast he ran, it was always hovering just outside of his peripheral. Once, he felt its bony fingers trail down his spine, and he woke with a start to find he had sweat through the sheets. Luckily, though he was awake, L didn’t notice as he typed away on his laptop. Or, if he did, he didn’t say anything, for which Light was infinitely grateful. 

Ordinarily, he would ever put any stock into dreams, but this one kept repeating. Sleep was now a thoroughfare of horror he drowned in each night. To delay the inevitable, he began to adopt hours closer to L’s, working until exhaustion overtook him and he was too tired to dream. Sometimes it worked. Unfortunately, the exhaustion lasted throughout the day as well, and he spaced out frequently.

Such as now. Light realized he had been staring at the same screen for about thirty minutes and didn’t comprehend a single sentence. He continued to stare, his mind refusing to focus. 

His father worked quietly behind him, typing at an agonizingly slow rate, as though he had never used a keyboard before. Mochi was rolling a coin around his fingers, rather impressively. Out of the remaining detectives, only Matsuda’s bewildered face was missing… 

_Oh that’s right_ , he thought, _he’s with Misa at her movie or photoshoot or whatever it was_. She had spoken about the other day during a mandated date. Matsuda’s red-rimmed eyes looked at the floor more often than anyone else nowadays, so Light assumed L gave him a softer assignment to help him recover. Light realized he had never seen Matsuda separate from Aizawa. The two were a set, whether Aizawa agreed to it or not, with Matsuda always following him around like a puppy… his leaving the case must have hit Matsuda hard. Light found it hard to pity him. They’d all lost something during the case. At least Aizawa was alive and out of danger.

The computer beeped loudly, startling Light out of his trance. Watari’s signature appeared on the screen and his voice rang out from its speakers.

“Ryuzaki, there’s a matter that demands your attention. Someone claiming to be Elrado Coil has called requesting for L’s identity to be revealed to him. Their own identity has been backed and vetted by the Yotsuba company.”

Yotsuba… that was the business he mentioned the other day to L. One of the last major companies not yet targeted by Kira.

L looked sidelong at Light. “It appears your hunch was correct, Light. Good work.”

A wave of pride rushed through him. Praise from L was exceedingly rare. “Oh, uh… thanks.”

“Wait,” Soichiro said. “How exactly does this prove that they’re connected to Kira? Who is this Coil?”

The question from Soichiro was the one in Light’s mind. However, it came at the same time L took a bite of cake. 

L didn’t even bother to hide his annoyance and he spoke while he chewed. “Well, first of all, Coil is the name of the world’s second greatest detective. And, more to the point, the mere fact that he’s contacting me proves that the Yotsuba company is working with Kira. Otherwise, asking for my identity is pointless.”

“You realize that this clarifies nothing, right? Isn’t it normal to ask for some kind of confirmation?” Light said, biting back his annoyance. It was obvious that L knew more and was setting up for some kind of reveal.

Watari’s voice dripped with exasperation as it crackled over the speakers. “It is impossible for Coil to contact Ryuzaki because the first, second, and third greatest detectives are all the same person.”

L looked a bit disappointed as he nodded as he took another bite of cake. Light got the sense that L’s penchant for drama wore on Watari. 

It took a couple of seconds for the new information to sink in. Then it hit Mogi and Soichiro at once as their expressions turned from confusion to awe. Light, on the other hand, shook his head. Of course L would create two fake personas. It was an ingenious way to keep his true identity secret; he had to admire it, as messed up as it was. Actually, there was no way to know that there were only two other aliases L/Ryuzaki/Ryuga went by. Given his demonstrated levels of paranoia, Light assumed there were at least twenty. 

“So…,” Soichiro broke the awkward tension. “Kira is either a member of the Yotsuba company or is affiliated with them. That still leaves a long list of suspects to work through.”

They all fell quiet, pondering ways to narrow it down even further. Light chewed on his lip, carefully working through an idea. One that was simple but costly… one that was impossible to ask anyone to volunteer for. A ploy that would draw Kira out. A sacrifice. 

Who would be the best option? It was impossible to ask anyone to offer themselves up, but none of them would be here if they weren’t willing to take that risk. 

He looked up to see L offering him an extra plate of cake. Before he could shake his head in answer, one of the screens flashed red and let off a high pitch whine. L’s eyes left Light’s and snapped toward the noise.

“What-” Soichiro began.

“Matsui’s buckle was activated,” L said.

The high pitched whine stopped and voices began to crackle through the speakers. 

“ _Get him in here…_ ” There were sounds of shuffling and a few grunts, as if someone were being restrained. _“Who are you? Who do you work for?_ ” 

“ _Please, I- I swear it’s not what it looks like!_ ”

Light tensed. This sounded bad. Really bad. They weren’t supposed to touch the belt buckles unless there were no other options. Wait… wasn’t Matsuda supposed to be with Misa? Light gripped the edge of his chair. Where were they last? He thought he remembered her saying the shoot was somewhere downtown… based on the time, she should still be there.

He looked to L for some kind of signal and saw L’s face was almost literally lit up with excitement. This did nothing to calm Light’s nerves. Was that a good or a bad thing? Before he could ask, L held up a GPS tracker for everyone to see. Light squinted, trying to read… was that? What he thought it was? The other detectives drew in breaths of what Light could only guess were excitement, fear, and shock.

Light chewed his lip as he began to work through possible courses of action. Thanks to Misa’s shoot time and given the lack of her voice or mention of a second person, he could assume she was still working and away from the scene unfolding before Matsuda. And now he didn’t have to worry about voicing his plan. It had already been enacted; the sacrificial figure just appeared.

Somehow, Matsuda infiltrated the Yotsuba company.


	7. How to Talk to Your Shinigami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this one is a little longer because the last one was slightly shorter than the previous ones... and again, but probably for the last time, aliases will be used in dialogue. Asahi is Soichiro Yagami, and Motchi is Mogi. Not too consequential, but just in case of confusion.

_Four days later…_

L’s POV:

The helicopter roared and rumbled its way after Higuchi’s sports car. Ordinarily, L would never bring Light along to the confrontation, but the handcuffs left him no choice. He couldn't leave him behind and he needed to see Kira’s power for himself. Either way posed risk, but if something were to happen, he’d rather have it happen in front of him than be stuck watching miles away, unable to help. He’d been working on this case for far too long to not be there at this moment.

The night sky remained static as they raced by, the stars a constant light guiding the way. His hands nearly shook with excitement; he was so close, he could feel it. So close to Kira, to figuring out the piece he’d been missing. This man, this executive board member of Yotsuba, held the key. They found him, now they just needed to take him alive.

He’d never had a case thrill him as much as this one had. He glanced over and recognized the same exhilaration in Light sitting next to him. He was on the edge of his seat, craning his neck to see the stretch of road below them. The anticipation was palpable as the two focused their attention on the small red sports car singled out by the searchlight attached to the helicopter. 

They easily kept pace with it, even closing the gap somewhat while maintaining a respectable distance. Behind Higuchi’s vehicle were dozens of police cars flashing their lights and blaring their sirens, though the sound was nearly drowned out by the reverberations of the helicopter.

The roadblock Aizawa had promised was in sight. L gave a nod to Watari. Watari pulled out a rifle and took aim. At the same time, L flipped a switch to turn on the floodlights, blinding any attempt to look at the passengers of the helicopters. The police cars subsequently did the same.

A shot rang out. There was a screech of tires as the sports car lost control and began to spin wildly. It smashed against the side barrier of the road with a crunch, slamming to a halt. Only four hundred feet from the roadblock.

Watari pulled back inside the helicopter. “Now his only chance is on foot.”

A man stumbled out of the wrecked car as masked police troops marched forward, guns aimed directly at the suspected Kira. The same man they had been monitoring on camera feed all week. Something glinted in his hand. Immediately, Watari fired again, and the shiny object clattered to the ground. Higuchi stared at his hand in shock.

The rest of the masked Task Force rushed forward and pinned Higuchi to the ground, Aizawa among them.

L adjusted his headset and leaned forward. This was it. “It’s over,” he said with no small amount of satisfaction. 

Of course, he knew it wasn’t completely through with. But they had successfully detained Kira, and alive no less. That was the key to everything.

L spoke into the microphone that fed into each Task Force member’s headset. “Motchi, Asahi. Could one of you please place a headset on Higuchi? There are some questions I’d like to ask before we take him in.”

“Roger that,” crackled Mogi over the feed.

As soon as it was fixed onto Higuchi’s head, L began the questioning.

“Higuchi, you are Kira. Do you deny it?” He wanted to rush into what he really wanted to ask, but there was a process Watari trained him to follow.

Higuchi’s figure struggled in vain beneath the grasp of six apprehenders.

“Do you deny it?”

The man slumped when his efforts proved fruitless. “No.”

Good, that part was over with. L sat forward eagerly. Now he could proceed. “How does your power work? How do you kill?” It frustrated him that he hadn’t yet found the answer himself yet, but he had to understand.

“Look, I-I don’t know! Seriously, I’m telling the truth! All I know is that I found this magic black notebook and it kills people. It’s crazy, I know, but please, you have to believe me! I never actually hurt anyone, it’s this notebook!”

 _What?_ L’s finger tapped rapidly as he worked through it. A notebook… that wasn’t a coincidence, was it? He had initially thought the mention of the notebook in the second Kira’s message was just there to throw investigators off, but now… when else had a notebook been mentioned in the investigation?

Soichiro’s voice came through the feed. “There’s a notebook in the car. I repeat, there’s a black notebook in the car.”

L began to chew on his fingernail. This was it. This was the missing piece. But how?

A scream ripped through the night air. L and Light both watched in shock as Soichiro stumbled backward, holding the notebook and pointing at a blank space in the distance. 

Mogi rushed up beside him. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

Soichiro just gaped at the same spot and tried to scramble back, dragging Mogi with him. Mogi wrenched himself out of Soichiro’s grasp. Then, he gasped and pointed at the same spot Soichiro did.

“R-Ryuzaki,” Soichiro stammered. “There’s- I…”

“Bring me the notebook,” L ordered. His mind desperately tried to fill in the missing gaps. Soichiro was fine until he grabbed the notebook, and so was Mogi until he bumped into him. What was it that had them all so freaked out?

Soichiro jogged over to the helicopter, keeping his eyes fixed towards the car. He came up to L’s side window. His shaking hand offered a small black notebook with white English lettering stenciled on the front. This was supposed to be the key to Kira’s power?

L hesitated. It certainly appeared that touching it caused some sort of an effect to come over the holder, though what kind he wasn’t sure. Hallucinations? At the very least, it didn’t seem to cause a loss of identity. Though Soichiro looked freaked, he still seemed to be himself, still responded to orders. 

_Fuck it_. If anything bad happened, Watari would handle it as he always did. He had to know.

L reached out and gingerly picked up the corner of the notebook with his fingertips, tensed for whatever came next. He blinked several times. Nothing happened.

Then he looked over to where Soichiro and Mogi had been staring in horror. Ah. Well then.

A large, white, skeletal figure with chin-length grey hair and yellow eyes stared back at him. 

“Shinigami,” he whispered. So it was true. 

“What?” Light looked inquisitively at both his father and L for answers.

Something else was bugging him… What was the exact wording of the second Kira’s message? That they would “exchange notebooks” in Aoyama? Was this the notebook mentioned? That word insinuated that there was at least one other… and that day in Aoyama was when he projected that Misa and Light first met. So there were at least two of these notebooks, and both Light and Misa were the owners of them at some point… and with them came the Shinigami. He had to assume there were at least two, as the message also mentioned showing Shinigami to one another. Whatever the case, it appeared that these Shinigami and strange notebooks were the key to Kira’s power.

As these thoughts raced through his head, Light reached over and took the notebook from him. L let it slip through his fingers as he worked through it all. Light inhaled sharply and stared off into the distance as he held the notebook. L knew he needed to act soon. The victory over Higuchi could only be set so long as they were able to interrogate him. 

Shaking off his need for analysis, L spoke again into the microphone. “Mr. Yagami, please take Higuchi to the car.”

The member of the Task Force began to lead Kira away.

“You know, about this notebook,” began Light. “I wonder what we’d find if we put it through forensic analysis.”

The logical inconsistency tore L’s attention away from Higuchi. Of course, he’d been watching in his peripheral how Light handled the notebook; the only reason why he let him take it in the first place was to observe his reaction. But Light's reaction was no different from Mogi's. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone was in grave danger... he wished they'd take Higuchi out of the firing zone faster.

“That doesn’t sound like you, Light,” he said, keeping his tone casual. “We both know that this is beyond science.”

“Yeah… you’re probably right.”

Both of them stared intently as Higuchi was escorted to a police car. 

He made it about halfway there before he began to convulse. Chaos broke out as Higuchi fell out of Mogi’s grasp. Officers rushed forward, trying desperately to save him.

Light stood from his seat. “What-what’s happening? Do not let him die! I repeat, do not let him die!” he shouted into the microphone

L just watched it all unfold. He couldn’t look away from the horrible scene before him. They were too late. Higuchi was dying before him and there was nothing he could do. And the only thing in his mind was the grim thought that it happened while Light Yagami held the notebook.

* * *

_Back at Task Force Headquarters…_

L reviewed footage of Misa, from the time between when they left her locked in her room to the time they got back, while the detectives, Light, and the Shinigami all waited awkwardly behind him. He didn’t think Misa killed Higuchi, but he had to be sure. If she had the capability of killing him, she would have done so long before, not wait until the last possible second when all eyes were on him… but really, anything was possible. 

The Shinigami hovered a ways apart from the others, but discomfort was evident on each of the detective’s faces. Each stole glances when they assumed the god of death wasn’t looking, only to find empty yellow eyes staring back. Matsuda even squeaked in terror.

While L watched and stacked coffee creamer cups into a tower, Aizawa began to read out the rules of the Death Note. Apparently he was rejoining the case. He’d been gone for so little time, L had hardly noticed.

“This last one is the most concerning. ‘If the person using this Death Note fails to consecutively write names of people to be killed within 13 days of each other, then the user will die.’”

“Wait, that’s good news!” said Matsuda excitedly. “We held Light and Misa in confinement for much longer than that. If they were Kira, they would be dead by now!”

“That’s… true,” said Soichiro, slowly smiling.

L frowned. Parts of the rules made sense, but others… it was too convenient. The others began to excitedly chatter about the proof of Light’s innocence.

Aizawa cleared his throat. "Uh... there's one more..." Once he had everyone's attention, he continued, "'If this Death Note is made unusable by tearing it up or burning it, all the humans who have touched the Death Note till then will die.'"

Silence ensued.

L spoke without turning around. “Rem, was it? That’s your name, isn’t it, the white thing over there?”

“What do you want?” The thing drew out each word, like it was talking to children.

“There’s more than one notebook, isn’t there?”

“That may or may not be so.”

“And, since there’s multiple, is it possible that different notebooks have different sets of rules?”

Rem sighed deeply before speaking once more. “No. There are many notebooks in the Shinigami realm, but they all have the same rules, even when used in the human world.”

Its voice was strangely calming. L couldn’t decide if it was lying or not, as there were no human characteristics to pick up on or pay attention to. This was a god of death, not a criminal suspect. But, at the very least, he knew it had no obligation to answer his questions honestly.

Aizawa stepped forward. “Ryuzaki, you have to clear Misa Amane and Light Yagami. The evidence demands it.”

L reached to stack another coffee creamer cup, the chain cuffing him to Light dangling from his wrist. “I suppose you’re right,” he said quietly, holding the creamer above the tower. 

Not enough information. Or maybe it just wasn’t the information he wanted. Doubt clouded his mind. He was so sure he was right… could Light have been innocent the whole time?

 _No. There’s an explanation for this_. 

And yet, it eluded him. L pulled his hand back and placed the creamer back on the table. “I… understand. Please, accept my apologies for all the trouble.”

Soichiro stepped forward and clapped both Light and L on the back. “Then we can move forward,” he said, the relief that his son was finally cleared shining from him.

“Yeah… but we still can’t say that we’ve solved the case until we’ve figured out everything,” Light said. “Would it be alright if I kept investigating with you? Without the handcuffs on, I mean.”

L stared despondently at the screen. One look at Light was all it took. One look and the doubt faded. The screen that had miraculously fallen away after Light’s imprisonment was back. The cheery, sociable Light Yagami presented to the world once more hid a cold, calculating monster. L couldn’t even stomach a glance in his direction. All that maneuvering, all that time spent monitoring him, and for what? Failure was inching closer and closer with each breath he took.

“Yes,” L said quietly.

It wasn’t over yet. If his gut was correct, Light would be confident that he had won right about now, and not without good reason… which meant that the odds he'd let something slip just went up. They were still pretty low, and a single mistake on L's part would prove fatal, but what other choice had he?

* * *

  
  


_Later that night… or more specifically, 3:06 AM_

Light’s POV:

There was a certain satisfaction in being right. When the dominoes fall just the way you set them, cascading in a symphony of prosperity. All his life, Light chased that feeling, maneuvering his way into popularity and success at a young age with the resources he had. So why, when the most complex plan he had ever set in motion just ended in a success, was the gratification eluding him?

Light turned his face up to the rain. The cold wind blew right through him, whipping the edges of his coat about and soaking his clothes. He stood alone out on the balcony, the light from his room illuminating his silhouette. Well, not really alone; Ryuk hovered behind him. He could feel the Shinigami’s yellow eyes boring into his back. He ignored it and stared out at the city’s nightlife. 

Why couldn’t he get L’s terrified face out of his head? Every time his hand drifted towards the corner of the paper from the Death Note, the terror he felt watching L collapse from exhaustion ripped through him. The mere thought of Rem’s skeletal fingers penning L’s name and his crumpled body falling to the ground caused sharp pangs in his chest.

 _He’s a threat. He has to be eliminated._ Light knew that. And even beyond that, L was an ass. People would form a line all the way to Tokyo just to punch him in the face, most of them police officers. Light would even give up his spot at Toho University to be at the front of that line.

The rain traced its way down his cheeks. Strange, since when did rain taste of salt? Damn it all. Why couldn’t he have felt this strongly about Misa? That would have been so much more convenient, she was on his side for heaven’s sake. When she was a threat, the only reason he didn’t kill her was because Rem threatened to kill him. And they were _dating_. So what made now so difficult? 

They were just friends. What use had a god for a friend? It shouldn’t be this hard. He ran all possible scenarios through his head, desperately searching for one where L’s survival and his victory were compatible. 

Ryuk hovered before him, a sardonic grin stretching his face. “Gloating over your victory? Waiting for the people to praise their new emperor? Wait, no, what was your title again? God?”

Light gripped the railing hard, the cold metal biting his fingers. He fought to keep his shoulders from shaking. There were none, none that he could see. No chance for both of them to make it out alive. It was one or the other. He mentally kicked himself. He knew objectively what he had to do, so why was it so hard to do it?

_Because we’re friends._

“Why aren't you celebrating with your little girlfriend or wife or whatever she is? You worked hard, you should take some time off to celebrate. You know, relaaaax. Seal the deal. I hear it’s a great stress reliever.”

Light closed his eyes, letting the rain pelt his face. Maybe he should lay low for a couple years… no, L would never give up. He’d track him through a sandstorm in the middle of a desert. He wouldn’t stop even if he were dying from debilitating dehydration. Once he caught a scent, he never let it go. That was what he admired about L.

“You know… if you felt like making a deal, the eyes are still on the table-”

“Shut. Up.”

Ryuk made a zipper motion over his mouth. 

As the words sunk in, it hit Light like a bolt of lightning. Of course… it would be a miracle if he could pull it off, but after the last scheme going off without a hitch despite L’s best efforts… he had a shot. Just one.

“Ryuk… can you clarify a couple things for me?”

“Sure, why not. You’re planning something again, aren’t you? Why? Did something not turn out as perfectly as your genius anticipated?”

“Just shut up and answer.”

Light drilled Ryuk for the next thirty minutes about the caveats of the Death Note. As far as he could tell, Ryuk was responding truthfully. He’d never directly lied to him before, so he had no reason to believe he’d do so now. He nodded along to each explanation. It was as he thought. 

He bit his lip. It was a risk. A major risk, but possible. And that was all he was looking for. The reconciliation of the big picture with what he really wanted. He had no control over Rem, he knew that much. Rem would do whatever was necessary to protect Misa, and Light set that train in motion long ago. He couldn’t take that back, not without Rem killing him. But he could change the course for his future. What did it matter what path he took, so long as he got there?

“Let’s do it,” Light said.

Ryuk’s grin grew wider as he chuckled. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

The two shook hands.

* * *

Five minutes later, Light was standing outside L’s door with a folded up chess board. He steeled himself and reached up to knock, but before he could do so, he heard L’s muffled voice call through the door.

“What do you want?”

Light cleared his throat. “I, uh… I was wondering if we could play another game of Blood Chess? I need something to take the edge off after everything that happened this evening.”

There was a heavy pause. Thirty seconds passed. Nothing. Then another thirty.

Light was just about to try another tactic when L finally spoke. “...Fine. It’s unlocked.”

He bit back a sigh of relief and opened the door. The scene before him was one of pure chaos. Open books and pieces of paper were strewn across the floor. Pinned to the walls were pages ripped out of those books, some depicting crude drawings of Shinigami, others with print too small for him to read but with red circles drawn around key words and passages. L was sitting with his back to him, staring at the only blank wall in the room.

Light stood in the doorway, frozen in shock. “I… I thought you preferred screens.” Goddammit, that was an idiotic thing to say.

“Ever since the word Shinigami was first uttered, I collected nearly every text written about them,” L began, his voice hollow. “Even if it was a code word, there could be more based on the myths, I thought. The idea that gods of death truly existed was preposterous. And yet excluding it from the realm of possibility was equally impossible. Kira’s power wasn’t natural, that much we all knew. But this… this much even I couldn’t predict _._ ” 

L slowly spun around on his haunches. Light’s eyes flicked upward briefly, before falling back down to rest on L’s. This… was odd. L wasn’t even looking at him, his gaze was fixed at a spot on the floor just past him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” It reminded him of when L first handcuffed them together, during the start of the supervised dates with Misa. 

“I’ve instructed your father and the rest of the Task Force that if I am killed… you should take my place as L.”

What the fuck was he on about? Light clenched his jaw and strode across the room to crouch down in front of L. “No. You’re not dying, Ryuzaki. Not on my watch.”

“I have no intention to. But we both know that Kira is still out there. There’s no way an idiot like Higuchi was the mastermind behind it all, and the real Kira will still be intent on my death. And now they’ve had a head start throughout all the time we spent chasing Yotsuba, so I’m more or less expecting it at any moment now.” 

“Look at me,” Light said, grabbing L’s chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. “You’re not giving up, and you’re not dying.”

L glared daggers at him. “Did I say I was giving up? No, I don’t believe I did. As for the dying part, I’m not much of a fan of that either, but there’s not much we can do but hope we catch Kira before they write my name in their little black book of death… And hope buys little these days. There’s only so long I can hide from them, especially if they only need a face.”

Light’s heart beat faster. The spark of fire was still there, he could tell. “L…”

“Ryuzaki.”

“L. I swear to you, right here, right now… if you die, that’s it. I’m not taking over for you, because there is no other you. There’s no one who could possibly replace you. No one else is going to do it for you, so you better make sure you move your ass into gear and fucking keep yourself alive.” Light softened a bit. “And I don’t mean you have to do it alone. I’ll help you however I can, do whatever I need to do to give you the aid, the support you need. Because let’s be honest, who can stand against the power of the two of us working together?”

L’s expression didn’t change, but Light could feel a slight clench of the jaw beneath his fingertips. In that moment, he knew. L never dropped his suspicion of Light for a second. He still believed that he was Kira, and rightly so. Light almost laughed at the stubbornness of the man. He was a good liar, he had to admit it. 

He had nearly been fooled, too. Fooled into believing that L was about to give up, that he was free to become Kira in earnest once more. In a way, that made Light happy. L truly was a formidable opponent. But as a fellow liar, he could tell. As easily and as well as L lied, he couldn’t completely hide his true feelings from Light, only obfuscate them. His mere presence before L pissed the man off to no end.

L wrenched his chin from Light’s grasp. “I doubt anyone but a god of death could stop us.”

Light couldn’t help but grin at the latent fury. “Do you have a plan?”

“Yes and no. We can discuss it later, once I’ve ran through all likely outcomes and come up with measures to avoid the worst.” L gestured towards the board under Light’s arm. “You mentioned playing Blood Chess?”

Without knowing what L was planning, it was harder to anticipate exactly how the next few days would go down, but that was fine. He was fairly certain he could handle whatever came next.

They played only two tense games before Light excused himself to go back to his room.

* * *

Ryuk was waiting for him, laying dramatically on Light’s bed. “So, did you get it?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Fine, fine. Who am I but a lone god of death forced to follow around whosoever holds my notebook? Void forbid I actually be curious as to what people do with it.”

Out of all the stunts Ryuk pulled, this was one of the more pathetic ones. He should realize that guilting Light was like trying to get blood from a stone; possible in only the absolute rarest of circumstances.

Light clicked the crown of his watch four times to make the little compartment inside pop out. This watch was truly the most valuable gift his father had given him. First allowing him to discreetly kill Higuchi and now this. He couldn’t be sure that L didn’t still have cameras up for “safety purposes,” so he moved to the balcony and stood beneath the overhang to shield the piece of the Death Note he had hidden in the compartment. He’d have to make sure that his writing was absolutely tiny to fit it all in.

He wrote down all the details of the cause of death before inputting the name, reading it over twice to make sure he had it right. This was something he absolutely could not trust Misa with. One, she was far too chaotic and selfish to be truly reliable to him, and two, he had no idea where Rem was, and the risk that they would overhear was far too great. This was something only he could do.

With the utmost care, Light stenciled in L’s true name onto the slip of the Death Note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this case, Misa did retrieve the Ryuk Death Note and hand it to Light between the shift in POV, but diverging from canon, Light never asked her to try to remember L's real name and she never made the second eye deal.   
> Also, a bunch of Mitski songs came on while writing Light's inner monologues, and I was nearly in tears laughing at the irony. Not relevant to the plot, but it's important to me that you all know that.


	8. Cloudy Skies, Murky Waters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was only supposed to be around 3k words but somehow ended up being closer to 4, oops

Light’s POV:

The next day, Light walked into Task Force Headquarters with heavy bags under his eyes. Sleep was an elusive bitch that refused to call him, no matter how many times he apologized. And now he was suffering for it. The last time he attempted something this crazy, he didn’t have time to doubt. Now… 

His father and the other detectives were waiting for him, with the notable exception of L and Watari. The old man was always off doing “business” for L, despite his promise to look after him. A promise he was evidently failing. What did he even do? Was he L’s butler or something? He’d always been curious… he made a mental note to find out soon.

The table that held the Death Note taunted him, lying just out of his reach. Now that he’d used up nearly all the space on his spare scrap, he desperately needed a refill, but he couldn’t yet. Patience was key. At least Misa was still doing his bidding; that part of the plan was still going well. The quick two minute conversations he could sneak in confirmed; the killings had started once more.

Soichiro turned to Light as he walked in. “Ah, there you are. Did the rain slow you down?”

“A bit,” Light said, taking off his jacket and slinging it around a chair. “Where’s L?”

“Looks like both of you are running late today,” Matsuda said.

Light frowned. “Really? Has he ever been late before?”

Matsuda shrugged. “I don’t really know… I always mess up with the metal detector and it takes me an extra fifteen minutes to get through security.”

Aizawa nodded solemnly.

“You all got that text from him too, right?” asked Mogi. “That he had something to tell us ‘in person?’”

“Yeah, I guess it’s back to the drama. Should’ve figured,” said Aizawa.

“I believe he’s most likely still upstairs,” said Soichiro. “Go check on him, will you, Light?”

Light paused in the middle of sitting down. “Oh, uh. Yeah. Sure thing.” 

He slowly got back up, grimacing at the effort, and casually strolled to the elevator. What text had L sent? Did he figure something out the night before? He couldn’t admit to the others that he didn’t get anything without knowing exactly what L had said… Damn.

Light punched L’s floor number and the silver doors slid shut. The elevator rose and with it his anxiety. He could have sworn that all those papers in L’s room were meaningless nonsense… unless that was what L wanted him to think. Unless L was actually telling the truth the night before. Unless he really was having a breakdown.

The second the thought crossed his mind, he dismissed it as being ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. He knew L well enough by now to know that a breakdown by him would not be so obvious. He patted his pocket. Then he patted the other pocket. Panic grew as he desperately felt for his phone. Where the hell was it? He didn’t take it out of his pants yesterday, and he knew for sure he didn’t lose it in all the commotion catching the fake third Kira.

Light strode down the hall, his lips turning to a frown. No wonder he didn’t get the same text as the others. His goddamn phone was missing.

L’s door was near the end. Light jogged up and yanked the door open. The room was still practically trashed with papers and book pages pinned to the wall and scattered on the ground, but now it looked like L had tacked up his own artistic interpretations of Shinigami, all very obviously based on Rem.

“Ryuzaki, where’s my damn phone?!” he yelled.

L sat cross-legged on the bed with a box of macarons in his lap. He ignored Light and selected a green one, holding it up to eye level.

“Ryuzaki!”

L pulled Light’s phone out of his pocket with his free hand. “You mean this?”

Light glared at him. What game was he trying to pull? He reached over to snatch it out of L’s hand, but L yanked it back. Light drew in an angry breath. Fuck. He needed to calm down. He was just cleared of suspicion, he didn’t need the spotlight back on him. “What the fuck, man? What do you want?”

“I already got what I wanted. I had a couple of questions for Misa, and she’s far more likely to respond if she thinks you’re texting her than me. I don’t think she likes me very much.” L popped the macaron into his mouth and tossed over Light’s phone.

“I wonder why,” Light’s voice dripped with sarcasm. L shrugged, chewing. He was right, though. Misa couldn’t stand L, ever since he refused to leave the two alone on their ‘dates.’ Strangely enough, the forced imprisonment and mild torture didn’t leave any lasting impressions on her. Go figure. “Anyways, you sent something to the Task Force? Asked them to meet?”

“I did. Are they all here?”

“Yes. We’re just waiting on you.”

L sprang off the bed, taking the box of macarons with him. Without another word to Light, he made his way out of the room. 

Light followed him, clicking through his text messages. It looked like L was telling the truth… so far, nothing but simple, innocent questions to Misa littered his inbox. And lucky for him, L didn’t take the burner Light reserved for talking to Misa about Kira matters. And lucky that Misa actually listened to him about what she could or could not text. Even though he’d explained the danger many times, there was always a risk that Misa would give up sensitive information on something that could be recorded. She was hardly the most trustworthy of accomplices.

All he could see were a couple of texts about her activities last night during the chase, and her responses were nothing to worry about. Then he reached the most recent texts.

“Wait. Did you… flirt with Misa?” Light asked, hardly daring to believe what he was reading.

“No. You did.”

“Ryuzaki.”

L shrugged. “She started getting really clingy and began to use guilt as a weapon. It seemed like the normal thing to do.” He offered the box towards Light. “Macaron?”

“No.” He read through more of the texts. He raised his eyebrows, impressed. These were actually some pretty good lines, and most of them were things he’d probably actually say. _Had_ said, in fact. 

“Do you not do that?”

They entered the elevator, L moving aside to let Light go in first.

“Not with her. Give her an inch and she’ll take a mile. Next thing I know she’s gonna be picking out baby names.” Light punched the button for the ground floor. “Besides, I’m hardly gonna invest in a relationship I don’t plan on continuing.”

“Such a loving boyfriend you are. Truly, I’m moved.”

Light glared at L but remained silent. He’d already admitted long before to L that he didn’t feel anything for Misa, unfortunately. It would be easier to conspire with her if he hadn’t, he’d be able to play along, put on a show, but he was far too honest after he lost his memories of the Death Note. Despite the inconvenience though, he preferred this to the alternative.

Then a thought occurred to him. “Hey, when did you even take my phone anyway?”

“Well, you got so close to me last night, I thought you were offering it over. My apologies.” L ate another macaron.

Light’s cheeks flushed as his tired brain ran through the events of last night. When his pocket was near L? Then it dawned on him. That bastard. Did he pretend to give up just to get him closer? What, did he think Light was careless enough to keep evidence of Kira activities on his phone? Still, he couldn’t believe L picked his pocket so smoothly. He didn’t even feel it. _L has light fingers_ , he thought, the flush burning a bit hotter.

“You’ve got to be more careful,” L continued. “Misa’s getting jealous, she mentioned several times last night that you spend too much time here. Keep it up and she might not let you leave next time you visit her.”

As if he needed reminding of that. Soon he’d be free of her, he reminded himself. Her and Rem both. 

The elevator doors opened, revealing the other detectives waiting for them. Shit. He was gonna ask L about Watari. Too late. Matsuda and Aizawa were in the middle of an arm-wrestling contest, though Aizawa appeared exasperated to be doing so. As soon as he saw Light and L, Aizawa slammed Matsuda’s wrist against the table and the two stood up, Matsuda nursing his reddening hand.

Soichiro smiled in greeting. “Good afternoon, Ryuzaki.”

L walked over to the table where the Death Note lay beneath a sheet of highly secure bullet-proof glass, framed by a white tablecloth that concealed security measures Light could only imagine. 

As Light’s gaze drifted up from the Death Note, it landed on Rem, standing quietly in the corner. He nearly jumped out of his skin; they hadn’t been here when he left. Shit… sweat beaded his brow as he averted his gaze. He had to be extra careful.

L set the box of macarons down on the glass next to the Death Note and pulled up a chair. He sat in his usual position with his weight on his toes and began to line up the macarons in different patterns according to color. Light couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from twitching into a small smile. Of course he would. L was the only person he could imagine being so nonchalant in front of a Shinigami without it being an act. This was just how L was.

In fact, L was the only person Light had ever seen Rem answer a direct question from, other than Misa. Maybe it was just because Rem didn’t like him, and didn't know the other detectives… but Light took it as a good sign.

“So, Rem was it?” L began, separating the macarons into piles of each color.

Rem looked up at L with dead yellow eyes. “Yes.”

“Are the rules listed in this notebook all the rules there are?”

Light fought to keep his face blank. This would be the difficult part; he hated pretending to be stupid. This was just something to endure while everything brewed, he reminded himself.

Rem took their time in responding. “There are many rules in the Shinigami realm, some of which pertain to the Death Note, and some of which do not. To list every rule concerning the Death Note would take up too much time and space.”

“So no then. Thank you,” said L. “Oh, one other thing. There was a missing corner of a page that seems to have been ripped off.” He popped a pink macaron into his mouth and spoke while chewing, “Is it possible to kill someone using a piece of the Death Note rather than the book itself?”

Light's brow furrowed as he pretended to think about it. Damn, L didn't miss a single thing, did he? It was a point of pride that he'd evaded him for so long. Fooling the world's greatest detective wasn't something you could put on a resume, but having a genius like L in his back pocket certainly wouldn't hurt if he could lock him in as an ally.

“I do not know. I have never done it myself nor have I heard of anyone attempting such an endeavor.”

Light cocked his head. “What are you thinking?”

“That I should get to the business of why I wanted to meet.” L dusted his hands off. “It seems that Kira’s power has passed on once more, and with it, proof of multiple notebooks. Criminals are dying just like before, and in masses.”

The detectives all broke out into a loud clamor. Cries of “What?” and “How could this happen?” filled the room. Soichiro appeared tired, almost as exhausted as Light felt, while Aizawa and Mogi looked furious. Matsuda was just shocked.

Light shook his head. “So the original is back,” he said solemnly.

“It appears so.” L looked directly at Light. “And, I think we’ll find that these killings began as soon as Misa was set free.”

Oh, this was fun. He missed this. “Now hold on a second, Ryuzaki,” Light protested. “If you want to play that game, we can just as safely say that the killings started after Higuchi died!”

“Oh come on, we moved past this long ago,” said Aizawa. “Now let’s focus on _real_ suspects.”

The others nodded in assent.

Light held back a chuckle as he saw the anger flash in L’s eyes. He had him and L knew it. The next time L tried to bring up suspicions against him, the other detectives would disavow him. L was no longer the threat he once was, not really. But Light wasn’t finished declawing him.

  
  


* * *

L’s POV:

They talked for hours about the possibilities of the Death Note until L couldn’t take it anymore. Being in the same room as Light Yagami as he played the innocent fool literally sickened him. He could feel nausea slowly build in the pit of his stomach throughout the day. He left the room without as much as a word, leaving the others to bicker amongst themselves, and went back up the elevator to Light’s room.

L didn’t expect to find anything there. Not beyond what he already knew. It was worth a shot, though. He searched the room with a fine-toothed comb but found only changes of clothes, a toothbrush, and several stale apple cores. It was as he thought; the video feed hadn’t lied.

He knew he didn’t have long to live. Knew that his act the night before hadn’t fooled Light, though it was never intended to. He’d already made preparations in case of his death for Mello and Near to be brought into the case, but doing so had raised questions from the Wammy House as to which was his official successor. Honestly, he didn’t know. He didn’t _want_ to name one. Whatever Watari thought of it, he didn’t like the idea of mandating someone else to do this job alone.

Though he hated to admit it, the time he’d spent with Light proved that two minds, so long as they worked well together, were better than a singular perspective. Light filled a role Watari could never. As intelligent as Watari was, as marvelous as his inventions were, he didn’t have the same kind of intelligence that made Light so valuable, so slippery to catch. 

L hadn’t been lying the night before when he agreed with Light’s proclamation that no one could stand before the two of them working together. And while Mello and Near were both the closest potential successors to him in terms of ability, they could never get along well enough to work together.

And… the job was lonely, truly. L dared not let his personal feelings delay any plan of action he had, but… no matter what he told himself, there was a reluctance in him to finally, officially arrest Light. Once he did so, the case would be over. His plan would attest to that.

L picked up one of the apple cores. 

_L, did you know gods of death like apples?_

The door behind him swung open. L didn’t bother to turn around; he knew it was Light. He stood up and walked out to the balcony, dropping the apple core to the floor. Light followed him, a couple of feet behind.

It was still raining. Hard. Torrents of water whipped through the air, drumming the ground in a tumultuous cacophony. L suppressed a shiver as the cold effortlessly seeped through his white shirt and jeans. He looked to the sky… the weather reminded him of home. 

Home. Would he ever see that again? It would be raining there, too. It hardly stopped but for the few weeks of sunshine each year. 

Home… locked behind old walls built hundreds of years prior, haunted by their own share of ghosts. Haunted by the sound of the bell. When he left, he swore to never return, to never go back to that damned bell. On the eve of his departure, he made sure to dismantle it so it would never clang its hellish song again, destroying it so irreparably that fixing it was beyond even Near’s level of skill.

Then L realized: he didn’t _want_ a successor. The thought of passing on, of dying, didn’t scare him, not really, but naming someone to replace him was almost unthinkable. Impossible. Even if Near and Mello could work together, it wouldn’t be “L” anymore. It would be “M and N.” He clenched his fist.

Light stood at the door to the balcony, still underneath the overhang and safely out of the rain. L let the rain pelt him for a minute before he turned to face Light, who looked at him expectantly. Had he said something? L held a hand to ear to signify he didn’t hear.

Light yelled, “What are you doing standing out here by yourself?”

L repeated the action, relishing in the frustration evident on Light’s face. Light huffed and walked out into the rain to stand next to L, clutching his coat tighter around him. 

“What are you doing?” Light repeated now that he was closer.

 _The next stage_ , L thought. _Curtains rise, and the audience falls silent._

“Do you hear it?” he asked.

“Hear what?”

“The bells. They’ve been ringing all day… maybe a wedding, or a funeral.” All the best lies were wrapped in truth; the bells hadn’t affected him in years. But he was curious as to whether they had yet to touch Light.

Light paused. “Uh… I don’t hear anything.”

“Hmm… forget it then. It seems like most of what I say these days is nonsense,” he said quietly.

Light chuckled. “Yeah, I learned the hard way not to take everything you say at face value.”

“I could say the same about you… Tell me, Light. From the moment you were born, was there ever a moment where you told the truth?”

Light froze. L’s eyes snapped to his, pinning him in place, reading his reaction. He wasn’t surprised to see the pleasant smile drop from Light’s face and turn to a scowl. The moment it happened, he knew that was all the truth he would get from Light. He was too good at covering for himself, too talented of a liar.

“Everyone lies, Ryuzaki,” Light said quietly. “You included. That doesn’t make us bad people. It just makes us human. We all lie to keep ourselves and the ones we love out of trouble, to make ourselves happy. Sometimes that means telling someone you love them when you don’t. Sometimes it means telling your drunk friend that a glass of water is vodka. Lying is neither good nor evil. It’s unavoidable. Human nature. All we can do is try to make sure that our lies don't hurt the people we care about.”

In some strange way, L could tell that Light was sincere. That he meant his words. L dropped his gaze in shame. He felt a pang of guilt but immediately silenced it. This was no time to get distracted by the immaterial.

“You’re right. Of course,” he said. He took one final look at the foggy city that reminded him so much of home. Time for the show to begin. “Let’s head back inside. I’m freezing.”

* * *

They walked back together, soaked to the bone. Luckily the bathroom was well stocked with spare towels, though there was no hand dryer. The two made their way in silence to the stairwell, fresh towels slung over their shoulders, leaving a mountain of soggy ones behind. An unspoken agreement hung between them to take the long way down.

Once they reached the third-floor landing, Light sat down, drying his hair.

L watched him. Watched the shivers make their way through his body, watched Light's teeth chatter as he exhaled. No matter how he tried to push them down, the pangs of guilt wormed their way into his chest.

A sudden impulse came over L. He crouched by Light’s feet and wrapped his towel around them. Light began to protest, but L held up his hand.

“Let me do this for you,” he said. “Please… accept this as an apology.” _An apology for what I am about to do._ “I’ve been told I’m quite good at this.” It wasn't a lie for once. On many a cold winter night, it was the only service he could provide, the only use he could be while being as small as he once was. He slowly dried Light’s feet, gently but firmly working them to get the blood flowing. 

He felt something touch his head and looked up to see Light’s hand brush his hair.

“Then let me do the same,” said Light softly.

L went still as Light smoothed back his hair. His scalp tingled at the touch; it was nice. Calming. He couldn't stop himself from leaning into it. For once his mind was blank. A chill that had nothing to do with the cold went down his spine as Light’s fingers worked through the tangles in his hair. His lips parted as he looked up to see Light’s eyes locked on his, eyes full of an ache he knew all too well.

Light’s feet fell from his grasp as Light slid a couple of steps down so their faces were mere inches apart. L’s heart pounded in his chest so hard he felt the blood rush past his ears.

Light closed the distance and softly pressed his lips against L’s.

L felt something seize in his chest, his brain numb. Flames licked along his shivering body as some instinct drove him forward, helped along by Light’s hand in his hair. The kiss grew harder, more desperate. Their bodies pressed together as they worked through their frustration, their sorrow, their regrets with each other. L drew back once for breath, only for Light to pull him into the kiss once more. 

They remained like that for how long, L didn’t know. A safe bubble away from the world. But all bubbles had to pop at some time. Eventually, he emerged for good, pushing down on Light’s chest so he couldn’t pull him back in.

_What are you doing?_

“What?” Light asked, his voice hoarse.

L shook his head. He could still feel the traces of Light’s lips on his. “No.”

He tore his gaze away and tried to stifle the anger that rose within him. Not towards Light, but towards himself. Out of all the times he’d done this, not once did he lose control. Not once did it threaten to consume him. 

_And not once was it with a killer._

“Ok.” Light didn’t seem surprised. Instead, the look on his face was one of sadness, something that L could also feel growing, wrapping its tendrils around his mind, and replacing the anger that left him hollow.

L clasped his hands around the back of his head and stared at his feet.

“Hey,” Light said, gripping L’s shoulder. “It’s ok.”

L closed his eyes. He mustered what strength he had left. “You go on ahead. I’ll follow.”

Light didn’t answer for a few seconds. L dared not meet his eyes. Then, Light got up, his hand leaving L’s shoulder. “Ok. Please… make sure you do.”

L nodded and waited as Light slowly made his way downstairs. He paused a couple of times to look back, but L remained where he was, unmoving except for the tapping of his foot. Eventually, the echo of Light’s footsteps dissipated. 

L shifted his crouching position as he reached into his back pocket to pull out the phone he had felt in Light’s pocket when they were pressed together. Examining it confirmed his suspicions. This wasn't the phone he'd taken before. If it was what he thought it was... this, combined with the video recordings he had of Light’s room from the night before, might be enough… if he managed to pull off the next stage. If he didn't die by then.

L sent a quick text message to Watari and walked down the stairs.


	9. The Domino Effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been a bit busy, so posting will be slower, but still fairly regular. A bit of real talk: thank you all so fucking much for the comments, honestly those are what's keeping me going. Anyway, let's see how much these two boys can torment each other.

Light’s POV:

The detectives didn’t bother to hide their shock at Light’s soaked form walking casually into the room, sneakers squeaking loudly with each sopping step. Matsuda’s mouth dropped open and Aizawa raised an eyebrow, while a half smile played at Mogi’s lips. His father merely cocked his head to the side and pierced Light with a questioning look. The only one unfazed was Rem hovering in the same corner of the room that they always were.

“Um… it’s raining, guys,” he lamely offered as an excuse.

“Upstairs?” Soichiro demanded.

Mogi just laughed. “Is there a hidden swimming pool we don’t know about or something?”

“I wish,” Light said wistfully. “But no. It looked like the weather was letting up, so Ryuzaki and I went out on the balcony to see the view, but before we knew it, it was pouring again.” He shook out his arms. “Ugh. There’s only so much towels can do.” 

Light tried hard to keep his tone playful, to cover the hollowness in his chest that threatened to consume him. Luckily, he was skilled at fooling his father. It was almost like breathing at this point. Still, it was harder this time; the words nearly stuck in his throat and he had to force them out or else risk a choking hazard. 

_ Damn it, L _ . The mere mention of his name threatened to trip Light up.

“So where is he?” asked Aizawa. “Not still out there, right?”

“No, he should be here in a little bit. I think he needed a little longer to dry off than me.”

“This is you dry?” 

Light laughed. “Yeah, you should have seen us before.” The memory of L’s body pressed against him flashed through his mind, and a dull pain reverberated in the hollow space where his heart was. Light had to take a second to shove it down as he plastered on his trademark smile.

“Make sure you take a warm bath as soon as you get home,” Soichiro said. “We don’t want you catching a cold.” His father’s face was softer than usual. He looked at Light as if he were a child again. Normally, such a thing infuriated him, but now… now it calmed him. Told him everything would be ok, in that gruff dad way.

L’s voice rang out behind his back and nearly gave him a heart attack. “Apologies for my lateness, but I had to grab something from my room before I came back down.”

_ Fuck, his steps are quiet _ , Light thought. He turned and looked down at L’s feet to see them bare. Of course. He should have remembered; L never wore shoes if he didn’t have to. Light offered him a friendly grin, but found that L would not meet his eyes. The dull pain pulsed sharper.

_ L… what’s going on with you? _ Was it just him being… him? Or was there something else? If he was repulsed by Light being Kira, he wouldn’t have returned the kiss, that much Light was sure of… right? Unless… unless L was just pretending to go along with it… but then why break it off? Why end it?

“So, what are our next steps? If Kira is truly back, how do we catch him again?” Matsuda asked eagerly.

“Him?” said L. “Are you so sure the current Kira is a man?”

That startled Light. How much did he know?

“What are you thinking?” asked Soichiro. “Do you have a suspect?”

L sat down at his usual chair, curling his feet underneath him. He looked around, probably for the rest of his macarons, but the box had already been cleared away. He sighed dramatically before answering. “It’s true that most prolific killers, at least those who have been caught, are usually men. However, I have good reason to believe that a woman is behind these new murders.”

Everyone waited for L to continue, but he simply reached beneath the glass on the table, grabbed the Death Note, and began to flip through the pages at an alarming speed. Light watched him, unease growing in the pit of his stomach. He quickly glanced over at Rem, and was worried to see her lantern-like eyes fixated on L. Not good. Not good at all.

Wait… to get the Death Note with such ease… was the table not trapped? Or alarmed? L didn’t remove or deactivate any security devices from the table… did that mean Light could have replenished his depleted stock at any time? No, it probably was still monitored somehow. That way if it was taken, they’d know exactly who it was while allowing ease of access for the investigation. Damn, he should have anticipated that.

“And?” Exasperation was clear in Soichiro’s voice. “What’s your reasoning?”

“I’ve been texting her.”

Silence stretched across the room. And then-

“Wait, what?!” Matsuda exclaimed.

Aizawa glared ferociously at L. “What the fuck are you on about now, Ryuzaki? If you’ve had this knowledge, why keep it from us? Why sit on it for so long?”

“Let him speak,” Mogi said, frowning slightly. “I have to admit, I’m curious.”

L paused at a page in the Death Note and placed his finger on it to mark a spot. With his other hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a phone, sliding it across the glass tabletop. A familiar phone. One Light knew all too well. “See for yourself. It’s not a particularly long conversation, but it’s quite informative.”

Aizawa looked to Soichiro for permission before snatching the phone from the table and scrolling through the short chain of messages.

“What’s there?” demanded Soichiro.

Aizawa frowned, shaking his head as he read through it, as though trying to clear it of something. “This-this isn’t… what I think it is, is it?”

His words echoed the thought in Light’s mind. Something new welled up inside Light now, filling the hollowness in his chest. A warmth that spread across his core. The warmth of pride and awe. If L had truly done what he suspected, he must have… yes, he must have taken it off him in the stairwell. Truly, he couldn’t help but to admire L’s cleverness. 

And… reassurance was there as well. The reassurance that L hadn’t been using him after all. Sure, L took advantage of Light’s impulsive actions to grab the phone, but he couldn’t have gone into that  _ moment _ with those intentions. How could he? There was no way he'd have knowledge of the phone's existence before they kissed. And... they’d never said anything before about caring for one another, not in that way. Which meant… to understand, to kiss him  _ back _ … even if it was a small part of L, the fact that it existed in the first place meant… that it was genuine. Well, at least, that was the hope he chose to cling to.

Light bit back a smile and looked back up, to see Rem’s eyes now trained on him, as if to fix him in place.  _ Oh shit, that’s right… the promise. _ The incident in the stairwell had driven that completely from his mind. Well, that’s what the backup plan was for. Wait, no… he probably shouldn’t rely on the  _ backup _ plan… yet somehow it had become the more preferable option.

“If you haven’t guessed it for yourself yet, I won’t spoil it,” L said, looking pointedly at Matsuda. “I’d prefer if you all draw your own conclusions and then compare to keep out possible biases. I know you have concerns about that, Aizawa, and I agree. You are correct on that front.”

Aizawa furrowed his brow and handed the phone over to Soichiro. “Do you have more?”

“This is why you called us here, isn’t it,” said Mogi. “You have more ideas?”

“A few, yes. And I did want to run some things by you all.”

Strange, why hadn’t he revealed it yet? Perhaps he expected Light to have some clever lie prepared and didn’t want to give him a chance to sway the audience. 

“What ideas?” asked Soichiro.

L read out a line from the Death Note from where his finger had marked. “‘If the person using this Note fails to consecutively write names of people to be killed within 13 days of each other, then the user will die.’ The exact phrasing… does it strike anyone else as interesting?”

Light finally spoke up. “What do you mean? What’s interesting about it?”

“I think we ought to cover all our bases. All this time, we’ve simply accepted these rules as truth.” L still wouldn’t look at Light. “I think we should test some of them, starting with this.”

“No!” The cry burst from Light’s lips before he could stop it. “What if they’re true? You could die, or worse!”

“I’d expect such a complaint from Matsuda, not you, Light. Surely you don’t expect that I’d immediately put myself into the line of fire. I am smarter than that, you know.”

Light bit his lip… it wasn’t L figuring out the truth that scared him. It was that rule, the one he pushed to the back of his mind each passing sunset. Each dusk closer to the end.  _ The human who uses this note can go neither to Heaven nor to Hell. _

“I know you are. But… what are you planning on doing? Making someone else do it? How can we ask that of anyone without being as bad as Kira? Human lives can’t just be thrown away, Ryuzaki.”

L sighed and turned the page of the Death Note. “I’m not saying they can. However, if we continue to act as we have, Kira will slip through our fingers once more. Unless we understand their power, we have no chance. And the only way to understand the power is to test it in as controlled of an environment as we can make. Remember, even the first Kira needed to test it out at first.”

Light knew protesting further would be pointless. Once L made up his mind, nothing could change it. He knew that from firsthand experience. He waited for further input from the other detectives, but not even Aizawa seemed prepared to contradict L. It made sense, no one could deny it. “So what’s your proposal then?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” L said, snapping the Death Note shut. “With the death of the last Kira, we could not question him, and I find it difficult to trust a being whom we have no knowledge of to answer us truthfully. Even if Higuchi had told us the same thing, we would no choice but to test it.” He looked to Soichiro. “So, with your permission, Detective Asahi, Watari has arranged for a volunteer to try out this 13 day rule. A death row inmate scheduled to be executed in a little over 13 days has been offered a pardon should he survive after that period of time has passed.”

Light should have expected this from L. After all, he used a similar trick to corner Light in the past. Yet a worm of worry crawled across his mind; Rem looked positively furious. Of course to someone who didn’t know them, Rem would still seem perfectly neutral. Yet the time he’d spent with Misa made him accustomed to the micro expressions of Rem’s displeasure. He couldn’t do a thing to stop the train L had just set in motion. No, the train  _ he _ set in motion long ago. Light briefly closed his eyes, hoping the precautions he set would work.

The detectives looked grim but unsurprised. Light supposed they were probably relieved that L didn’t ask for volunteers among the rest of the Task Force. Even Matsuda appeared determined. Soichiro looked among the members for their consent, before giving L a sharp nod.

A slight smile drew across L’s face as he swiveled to the desks with the monitors and pressed a button on the table. “Watari, were you listening?”

Static appeared on the monitor, eventually revealing a blank background and an old English ‘W.' “I was. When you have decided upon a name, please bring the Death Note down to me and I will arrange for its transportation from there.”

Light glanced over to the corner where Rem hovered to see the space empty. He silently resigned himself to the events that would now unfold. Strange. What he once dreamed of was now what he feared most of all.

“Prepare to receive the Death Note,” L commanded, handing the notebook to Matsuda. “We’re sending it to you now, Watari.”

Silence. They waited, but there was no response. For once, this was a silence that shouldn’t be there. Shouldn’t exist. The kind of silence that beckoned a deep dread forward.

“Watari?” L called, his face troubled.

All the monitors flashed white, black lettering spelling ‘Data Deleted’ ran across the screens in an infinite parade. 

Everyone froze.

“Ryuzaki, what-” Soichiro began.

“I told him… I told him to erase all the archives should he ever fear that Kira has found him,” L said softly. Contrasting the other detectives, who now began to dart glances at one another, L was not looking away from the screen, not even blinking. “That he was about to die...”

Light could only watch. He couldn't deny that he expected this, but never did he think it would happen so  _ soon _ . More time, he needed more time. He could see the hourglass running thin before him. 

And yet… all he could do was follow the path he had prepared.

* * *

L’s POV:

L’s mind was blank. He was actually physically incapable of doing anything but stare at the parade of words on the screen. Numbness crept over him as he tried to process the information before his eyes. But the cogs refused to turn. He could feel his body pushing the feelings down, refusing to let him feel them in their entirety.

_ No, no, no, no, no. Don’t be, don’t be dead. Please, Watari. Please.  _

The thought came, but there was no panic behind it, no fear. Simply dread.

A realization hit him: if Kira had killed  _ Watari _ , of all people… he himself couldn't be too far behind. After all, to kill Watari, one needed the second and third Kiras' power. His true name was too carefully concealed, it was too far out of the realm of possibility to kill Watari with anything less than that.

And if Kira had that power again… if he got Watari… there was nothing preventing his own name from being written down.

His stomach knotted itself together and his throat tightened as he waited. Waited for confirmation of the reality, for either Watari to respond or his own heart to stop. Whichever came first.

After two minutes passed, L realized his ears were ringing. The detectives’ voices came in muffled, voices he had tuned out completely until now.

No response was forthcoming. The dread latched itself to his heart. He slowly closed his eyes as the truth revealed itself. He half expected that he’d be dead before he could open them. 

When the blurry world appeared before him once more, the numbness turned into sharp, icy cold. Not dead then. 

“Detective Yagami,” he said, cutting through the chatter of the other men. He could hear the chill slip into his voice.

Soichiro reached his hand forward, as if to clasp L’s shoulder, hesitated, and then drew it back. “What do you need, Ryuzaki? What should we do?”

L finally looked up. “It seems that Kira knows of Watari’s true name and connection to the case. Interesting that they should choose to kill him, and now of all times. It appears that they’ve created a conflict of interest for me, which would render any conclusions I draw as of this time as biased and unconvincing.”

“But he might not be dead!” Matsuda interjected. “He could have survived, he could have-”

“No. If he survived, he’d let us know. There are several mediums we established in place in case of emergency. If this much time has passed without a response, he hasn’t been able to reach any of them, which means he is either incapacitated or dead.” Each word crackled through his throat. “And if he met Kira-”

He cut himself off, eyes growing wide. Just now. In his peripheral. An empty space where there shouldn’t be one. The thing that had been lurking there, the Shinigami. Gone. They’d left before, but now, of all times? It couldn’t be a coincidence. Further proof that Kira was involved somehow.

Aizawa furrowed his brow. “Hold on, did you say a conflict of interest?”

“Yes.”

“What does that mean for the investigation, then? You just said your involvement would jeopardize the legitimacy of this case.”

L rubbed his temples. “Don’t worry, the investigation will continue. Watari-” He swallowed. “Watari made the arrangements. Financially. We can continue, I just… can’t be the one to come to the conclusions anymore.”

Soichiro frowned. “What are you suggesting then? That Light take your place?”

The idea was so morbid it made L want to laugh. Luckily, he didn’t have to respond, as Light cut in.

“That probably wouldn’t be a good idea,” Light said. “If this is considered a conflict of interest for Ryuzaki, I don't think a former suspect could fill the position. And I don’t think that's what he’s referring to.”

L looked around for his box of macarons. Damn, he forgot it’d been cleared away. He needed something to stack, and badly. His gaze fixed itself on the cup of pens in the corner of the table with the monitor. He grabbed it and began to sort them, first in order of color, and then length. 

“What did you mean then?” Mogi asked.

L didn’t pause in his sorting. “I cannot tell you my deductions. Not in a way that will make the results of this case meaningful. However, I can still suggest courses of actions and steer the rest of you to view the same evidence available to me. You’ll all just have to come to your own conclusions.”

There. Now to stack them. 

As he reached for the green pen, the image of Light holding the Death Note in front of Watari’s crumpled body sprang unbidden to his mind. Angrily, he forced it out and began to resort the pens, this time in a gradient of color.

“Fortunately, I made plans to take this course of action anyways, so Watari’s death will not harm the investigation,” L heard himself say. “Kira will not gain anything from this. I’ll make sure of it.”

Soichiro reached out and clasped L’s shoulder. “Whatever you need, Ryuzaki. We won’t fail.”

The sudden warmth spread across his shoulder, and L realized he had been shivering. He stared, startled, at the strength of the hand gripping his shoulder. After a moment, he reached over and delicately pulled the hand away. If Detective Yagami thought physical contact was what he needed right now, L was well and truly fucked. Such an err in analytical ability would cost them everything.

Luckily, Aizawa was quicker on the uptake. “You have something specific you wanted to show us?”

L nodded. He began to straighten the slightly off kilter pens in his newly established tower. The trick was finding the right place and pressure to push without making the entire thing fall down. Whatever memory of warmth was created by Soichiro’s hand was eaten by crackling, imperious cold. His body was numb, yet an icy hatred crept further within him, dulling conscience and solidifying cruelty. Calm, yet wrathful.

He looked up at Light for the first time, and saw his rival meet him with confident eyes. An icicle cracked, straining for freedom. To strike at the neck of his enemy.

A thought of Watari flashed through his head. A memory. The first time he was brought to Wammy’s House. The first (of very few) time he allowed Watari to hold his hand. The first time his paranoia was unjustified. And the first time the gloomy gates that held his freedom loomed over him. Those comforting walls saved his life once. What would they be now that their master would never again warm the halls with his presence?

L removed a pen from the tower. Then another. “I gave you one of the pieces of evidence available to me earlier. If you doubt its authenticity, you can take any measures to certify it. You can even text the number whatever you want. However, I can only let you review the rest of the evidence I have individually.” He lay another pen neatly next to the other two. “To prevent the bias of your peers coloring your conclusions.” L paused. “Who here has a key to the security room?”

“I do,” said Soichiro, patting his pocket.

“And has that key ever left your possession?”

“No. I check it every hour to make sure.”

“Good. Light, could you run down to the basement and- and check on Watari? It’s crucial that we preserve the scene of the crime as quickly as possible, and… to be frank, you’re the only other person I trust to do this.”

L saw Light nod solemnly out of the corner of his eye. L held up the keys to the basement door for Light to grab as he passed by, still refusing to look at the face of Watari’s murderer. Once Light was gone, L spoke to the other detectives.

“If you all will follow me, there’s something I wanted to show you all. Please hold all of your questions until the end.” 

The detectives were confused but mumbled their assent. L began to lead them to the room that housed the security tapes of the building. The room that only Watari and Soichiro had a key to. 

As they paused in front of the steel door, L turned to Soichiro. “If you would please open it for us all.”

Soichiro nodded and quickly unlocked the room. They all piled inside the cramped space, to see several monitors before them, smaller but more numerous than the ones in the main room. L powered it all up.

“I’d like to direct your attention to these tapes from the building last night. Please watch it in its entirety before making a comment, and please try not to influence anyone else’s first interpretation. And before you ask Matsuda, yes. I lied earlier about viewing it individually.”

L pressed play.

The grainy feed flickered onto the screen, showing an aerial shot of one of the many hotel rooms in the building. More specifically, Light’s hotel room. Light was there, walking briskly across the floor from the door to the balcony in the back. On another monitor, feed from the balcony flickered on. Light made his way to the railing of the balcony and leaned against it for a while. His head was turned away from the camera, so they couldn’t see his expression. Streaks of rain mottled the background, blurring the city lights.

Light stood like that for a couple of minutes before he eventually shifted his head slightly to the side. A closer look revealed a hint of movement around the mouth. That was the most they saw before he shifted once more into a position not visible from the camera’s perspective. 

After a half-hour, Light walked out of the room. L fast-forwarded through the next couple hours until the moment Light came back to his room. Light headed straight back out for the balcony, but not the same spot by the railing as before. This time, he was just visible underneath the overhang, seemingly taking refuge from the rain. 

He held up his wrist, as if checking the time, and fiddled with his watch. It was blurry, but it looked like he pulled something out from it. Light also pulled a pen from his pocket and scrawled something into his hand, before replacing whatever was in his wallet. He then walked back inside and collapsed on the bed.

This was the point that L paused the footage. “Interesting, I thought, especially when combined with the messages from the phone.”

“What was that gap? The part you fast-forwarded?” Mogi asked.

Matsuda looked confused. “Wait, but why were you looking at this footage in the first place? I mean, you couldn’t have known Watari would… you know…”

“Well, according to the timestamps, the gap would have been the time Light visited me in my room,” said L. “It struck me as odd, so I reviewed it when Detective Yagami and I went through the daily security tapes. I honestly didn’t think it was very important until about five minutes ago.”

“Ryuzaki, what are you suggesting? Haven’t we been through this already?” Soichiro demanded. “I simply won’t allow you to-”

“No.” Aizawa cut in. He gritted his teeth before spitting out, “I think I get it. I hate it, but I understand. That all this happened… after this moment. You were right before, the killings started up again after Misa was set free. And the way this person is responding… it’s hard to believe the other person at the other end of this phone is anyone but Misa. Which means it’s not a stretch to assume that she’s taking her orders from Kira. And there's only one person I've ever seen Misa take orders from.”

Soichiro gripped the chair tightly. “What more must we prove? How much further must we go to convince you that my son is innocent?”

L pitied Detective Yagami. To have to go through what that man was experiencing would destroy a weaker man. He could tell it was hard on him, the constant suspicion, and the blame he placed on himself only served to grey his hair ahead of its natural course. But the fate of the Kira case was far more important than one man’s feelings.

Aizawa placed the phone down on the table in front of Soichiro. "These texts don't leave any room for doubt. And unless you're suggesting Ryuzaki would fabricate evidence to get revenge-"

"I'm not saying that," Soichiro growled. "I would never accuse Ryuzaki of doing something so dirty."

“I know you doubt," L said. "And I'm glad you do. There is a simple test we can do, if it will satisfy you, but only with your permission will we enact it.”

“Another test?” Matsuda asked. “Haven’t we done enough of those?”

Mogi shook his head. “With new evidence comes new reason for suspicion. We cannot ignore something like this.” Out of all the detectives, he looked the most refreshed, as if none of the weight of the case had yet to wear on him. L couldn’t tell if it was resilience or simplicity.

The others fell silent.

L took the opportunity to speak again. “What I propose is this: we set up a meeting with Misa Amane and ‘Kira.’ We’ll have Light pose as Kira once again, wearing a wire. If she is unsurprised to see him and treats him as though this is who she knows as Kira, then we have concrete evidence of his guilt. If she fails to do so, he is cleared. Fairly simple, I know, but secretly, we'll-”

The doors slammed open. Light Yagami stood before them, breathing heavily, head bowed, and his hair falling into his eyes, masking his face.

Anxiety like this had never gripped the detectives’ throats so tightly. Silence was the only greeting they gave the 20-year-old boy before them.

And then the boy spoke. Just three simple words.

“ _ I am Kira. _ ”


	10. L for Loss

L’s POV:

L stood in the doorway to the basement room. The secret space he ordered Watari to remain in. The room he died in. The detectives had already cleared the body out of the room a couple of hours ago and taken pictures of the crime scene, but the full investigation was left to him. As requested.

It was dark. He paused to let his eyes adjust. 

_ I told you not to let your guard down. See what happens when you don’t listen to me? _

_ But how? How could you have stopped this? _

_ We both know there were certain measures, precautions to take that could have avoided this. Yet you said they were too risky. You said no. Not me. _

He cut the train of thought off before it could continue. An answer wouldn’t do him any good right now. Besides, he could see well enough now in the darkness. It was time to work. 

He took in the scene before him as he always did in an investigation. First, he fixed the layout of the room in his mind, instinctively overlaying it with Watari’s blueprints and the crime scene photos, searching for inconsistencies. None. Next, he began to look for anything left behind by either the killer or Watari, any final messages, any evidence of a struggle, any possibilities of access to the room by an outside source. 

_ There, in the corner _ , he noted.  _ A pile of dust. And on top of it… _

A black notebook. L forced himself to tear his gaze away from it and take in the rest of the room. If he focused on that now, he’d never be able to step back. Scanning the rest of the room found that the only plausible entrance was the door he had just stepped through. 

L chewed on the inside of his cheek. How did Light kill Watari? That was the question he couldn’t quite figure out, why he initiated the investigation even after Light confessed. It didn’t make any sense. As far as he knew, Light only had the ability to kill with a name and a face, unlike the second and third Kiras. Watari’s name was carefully concealed, though admittedly not as carefully as L’s. However, L was fairly certain Light never searched too deeply for Watari’s name. After all, they tracked his internet history throughout the entire investigation. Not one time did he look anything up related to Watari or L’s past. While he could have asked someone else to do so, nobody without a certain level of security clearance would be able to search for Watari’s true name, clearance that would have alerted them to that possibility. And Misa never saw Watari’s face while she was Kira… which meant that the only way Watari could have been killed was if someone with the second Kira’s power saw his face, most likely sometime after Light and Misa had been released.

Which led to his second question. Why would Light kill _ Watari _ ? Logically speaking, if anyone was to be killed by Kira, it would be L. After all, he was the driving force behind the suspicion surrounding Light. And, given the premise that whoever told Light Watari’s true name had the second Kira’s power, then Light had the ability to find out L’s true name as well. So why wasn't he dead?

What gnawed at him the most, though, wasn’t whether it was more beneficial for Kira to kill Watari or L. It was why, now of all times, Light confessed. Sure, this was the first time L had concrete evidence of Light’s guilt, but that shouldn’t have mattered. His profile of Kira suggested that he would fight to the bitter end, refuse to give in. Kira  _ hated _ to lose.

Too many questions remained for the case to be considered closed. At least, that was what he told himself.

_ You failed. That’s why you won’t close the case… it would confirm your own ineptitude. You’re a child playing at a game you barely understand. Your failure to grasp the situation is why he’s dead.  _

L gripped the back of Watari’s armchair as his throat tightened. The armchair was specially tailored for Watari’s bad back, with leather padding and a built-in warmer to ease his aches and pains. Watari had a lot of them in his old age. Memories of Wammy’s House sprang unbidden to his mind. The room where Watari would tinker with clockwork machinery would forever house his unfinished art. His inventions would never see the light of day, or at least not as he intended them.

_ The only way to fail in this world is to never try. Success comes from doing your best, not to fulfill others’ expectations. _ Watari’s words softly wound their way into his head.

A ghost of the warmth of Watari’s arms around him, the soothing gruffness of his voice, caused a shudder to run down L’s spine. Those arms pulled him from the wreckage of his home, that voice kept the isolation at bay. The man who saved him, reduced to mere memory.

L felt something warm trickle down his face. He touched a finger to his cheek and pulled it away to find it wet. He stared in wonder as more tears wound their way down, softly spattering onto the leather of the armchair. 

His shoulders began to shake. Rather than suppress them, L gave in. His body racked with sobs that drove him to the floor as he let the sorrow and fear take over. Fear of what lay ahead, fear of facing it all without the man that was the closest thing to a father that he had. It all gripped him like a constrictor snake, choking him as he gasped for air.

Every time he thought he could recover, another memory of Watari refusing to let anyone else make his earl grey tea forced its way into his mind. No one else could make it right, he used to say. And he was right. None could match him against his secret recipe. Never again would that heavenly aroma grace those present. Never again. 

However long L remained like that was unknown. All he knew was that no one bothered him, something he was grateful for. Thankfully the security cameras weren’t active anymore and he could cry in peace, without the fear of onlookers recording his sorrow.

_ Two hours later…  _

L, face freshly washed, crept back to the central chamber of the building. Only three detectives remained: Aizawa, Mogi, and Matsuda. All of them stood to attention as L lumbered in. Aizawa was leaning against the table holding the monitors, while Matsuda had to scamper to his feet from the floor. Mogi simply stood from his own seat with his fists clenched tight. 

“Where’s Soichiro Yagami?” L asked, scratching his nose.

The three engaged in a staring contest, one Aizawa lost patience with first. “He asked to be put in confinement for the time being. We feared what he might do if left unchecked, so we agreed. He’s locked in the holding cells on floor B2.”

“Unmonitored?”

“No, not unmonitored, we’re not that stupid,” Aizawa said. “It’s the… special cell. The one made for Higuchi.”

That would do well enough, L supposed. Right now, Soichiro was a suicide risk, something L wanted to avoid at all costs. The cell in question had padded walls and was clear of any potential hazards. The Yagami family just lost a son, they shouldn’t have to lose a father as well.

“Did you find anything in your investigation?” Mogi asked.

L walked over to the table that held the Death Note they found from Higuchi and sat in his usual manner on the chair. “You have all earned my trust, that much I want to be clear. The fact that you all are here now, after… everything… is proof of that. And, now that Kira has stepped forward, there’s no longer a reason to keep anything hidden.” He paused, collecting himself.

“Did you not trust us before?” Matsuda asked, his voice betraying a bit of hurt.

Aizawa shook his head. “Matsuda, at this point, I don’t blame him. After all that’s happened, I don’t blame any of us. We all acted as best we could with the information we were given. Ryuzaki most of all.”

From Aizawa, this was surprising. He had always been L’s staunchest critic. Not that he wasn’t grateful for the support, he truly was. In fact, it gave him the resolve he needed. “Thank you. From now on, we don’t need to bother with the aliases we established earlier on. You may all refer to me as L, now that Kira and his accomplice are in custody.” He reached into his back pocket and tossed a dark notebook onto the table. “Now that both Death Notes have been recovered.”

Everyone stared solemnly at the notebook. They’d all seen it in the crime scene photos, but up close it was different. It was real, unable to be denied. Each detective anxiously took a step back from the table.

L waited for the weight to settle in before continuing. “This whole situation is wrong. I think we all can deduce that much based on the fact that I’m still alive.”

“Do you have any ideas about what really happened?” Mogi asked, staring intently at L. “How Light was able to kill Watari and not you?”

“I do.” L pulled the first Death Note out from under the table and tossed it next to the other one, out of eye-line. He was sick of even looking at the small black notebooks. “Light never had the second Kira’s power of being able to kill with just a face. Furthermore, neither he nor Misa saw Watari after the two were released from custody, time during which they resumed being the two Kiras. So, we must conclude that another player with the Death Note found at the scene of the crime was responsible. There’s only one other creature we know of who could have had a Death Note. The Shinigami Rem.”

Mogi scratched his chin. “They’ve been conveniently missing ever since this whole thing started. I think you’re right. But why leave the Note behind?”

L tapped his fingers together rhythmically. “I don’t think they did it on purpose. They probably had no choice. We still don’t fully understand what kind of capabilities these shinigami have, but I think… they broke some kind of rule. Maybe using their power to try to alter the course of a human investigation was against some kind of shinigami law. Maybe they were transported back to wherever shinigami reside. Maybe they were killed. Either way, there was a strange pile of dust underneath the new Death Note. I’ve sent for it to be analyzed, but we probably won’t get the results for another day or two.”

His gaze trailed over the two notebooks once more, as much as he tried to resist it. Curiosity got the better of him as he reached for the one he found in the room where Watari was killed. He needed to see how many names matched up with those killed during the time the Kiras were active. Flipping through the pages, he saw his suspicions confirmed. The names listed were all victims of Kira.

_ If this was Rem’s notebook, then why didn’t writing these names down trigger the same consequences as Watari’s? No, this is handwriting I’ve seen before. Misa’s. _

Then L reached the last page. Scrawled in some indecipherable language were two words. Below that were another two words in what L suspected was the same script. He looked up, eyes wide.

_ It can’t be…  _

It simply wasn’t possible. L clenched his teeth together so hard his jaw ached. Somehow the aftermath of the Kira investigation stirred up more questions than ever before.

“Aizawa. Mogi. Matsuda.” L made direct eye contact with each before continuing. “I need to ask you all a favor. Please.”

Surprise flitted across each of their faces. L never used that word.

Aizawa spoke first. “L, I think you can rest assured we’ll give you whatever you need.”

Matsuda nodded. “Anything.”

“You’ve more than earned our trust,” Mogi said.

“Keep the existence of this second notebook a secret. I don’t want it on any official records until I’ve had the chance to find out more about it. This one is different from the other.”

The detectives were silent. Matsuda looked between the other two for some kind of lead, but their stony faces betrayed nothing.

Finally, Mogi gave an assenting nod. “I think that would be a good idea. If too many people knew a second notebook existed, chaos would spread.”

“Security would be a nightmare,” Aizawa said with a shudder. “If you think you can keep it safe and resist the temptation to use it… then fine.”

“Thank you.” L tucked the notebook back into his pocket, his mind working furiously to decode the ancient script. It looked familiar somehow… like a dream long forgotten.

Mogi’s phone beeped twice, loudly. He flushed slightly in embarrassment, perhaps recalling L’s rules about cell phone usage. He opened his mouth to apologize, but L cut him off.

“Open it,” L commanded.

Mogi obeyed. As he read the text, his look of embarrassment quickly turned to one of confusion. “Uh…”

“What is it?” Aizawa asked.

“I-I’m not sure. I don’t know this number-”

L cut in, “What does it say?”

“Alas, the Walrus craves apple and worms. Oh, to be carried o’er the sea by twin swallows; oh, to be swaddled in their woven cradle in a score of ancient twigs.”

L gripped the edge of the table. Of course. Light must have tipped them off before offering himself up, now that they were at a disadvantage without Watari. Now that communication was cut off. Damn him.

“What does that mean?” asked Matsuda. His face contorted trying to puzzle it out. “Who’s the Wal-”

“I’ll spare you the time, Matsuda,” said L. “I told Wedy to text Mogi should the FBI make a move before we were ready. It appears Director Mason is sending two special agents and twenty men to secure the Death Note and the Kiras. All in the name of security, of course.”

Aizawa held up a hand. “Hold on a second. How does Mason even know about the existence of the Death Note? No report was submitted, not even the NPA knows about it.”

“If you’re searching for a mole, detective, I think you should look towards Kira. He knew everything we did, and I cannot believe he gave himself up without ulterior motives.”

“You think he contacted them?”

“I think he planned this all from the moment he became Kira again.”

They all fell into silence. L looked over to the monitors, about to signal for a plate of cake to be brought out, when he remembered. There was no one to receive the order. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself focused. Focused on the next steps.

_ Light Yagami, you won’t escape Justice. _

  
  


Light’s POV:

_ Well, this feels familiar. _

The chill of a stone-walled cell, the icy steel against his wrists, the waxy lighting that made him feel like he was in a horror movie. Back once again. But he wasn’t planning on staying here for as long as before. Hell, another stint like that and he might actually go insane.

A mouse scurried out from under his cot. Light remained still as it approached, its whiskers twitching around the crumbs that trailed around his feet, the remnants of his last meal. It gripped a larger piece with its tiny paws, sitting back on its haunches, and began to nibble at it. Light watched it curiously. It moved as though it had no fear of the giant creature sitting before it. Perhaps it thought he was powerless. Perhaps it didn’t care.

_ Funny, _ he thought,  _ that the Death Note only works on humans _ . Not that Light would be able to even use it at all if it didn’t. All the spare scraps he kept on himself had been found and confiscated, by L’s orders. It was doubtful that he’d be able to get a hold of the real copy anytime soon… but he had plenty of time to retrieve it. 

He did wish they had left him with his watch, if not the scrap of paper hidden inside. He had no way to measure how much time had passed, no way to know what was day and what was night. He suspected L ordered that he be given meals at irregular intervals, to throw off any sense of time he may have had. It was what Light would do. No matter. It was only a matter of time before he was out of here.

Light watched the mouse scuttle away, carrying its prize back to its home beneath his cot. There was probably some kind of hole or fissure in the wall there to accommodate it… good to know. He couldn’t access it now, what with the security cameras trained on his every movement, but if there ever was a time he needed to hide something… or perhaps if things didn’t go according to plan, to widen the fissure… he’d keep his options open.

_ This is fucking boring. _

He couldn’t even revel in victory over L, thanks to Rem’s rash actions. Actions which forced him to speed up his plan before he was ready. There was no victory, not yet at least. Damn it, he didn’t think they would kill Watari of all people. That’s why he didn’t even bother trying to find out his real name. Should he have anticipated this?

_ Probably, but at least it worked. _

L was still alive. That was what mattered most of all. Sure, Rem set him back a few steps, but he could make those up. All he had to do was wait for the FBI to arrive and watch them all dance.


	11. The Elephant in the Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typing is so much slower with a pet claiming one/both of your arms. And yet, I regret nothing.

L’s POV:

The meeting lasted only a half-hour. L watched from the security room as Mogi escorted the two FBI agents into the conference room, where Aizawa waited from his seat at the head of the table. Terse greetings were offered, though the agents were all smiles. Making an effort to be friendly. One of them was a man in his mid-thirties with a shaved head and dark stubble growing on his cheeks. The other was a woman in her forties with slightly silvered hair and long red nails.

Aizawa listened patiently as they complimented Tokyo’s sights, its people, and attempted small talk. He didn’t say a word. Their efforts soon faded into silence.

“Let’s cut to the chase,” the woman said. “We both know what it is you’re keeping hidden from the world.”

_ So this is how they’re going to play it. _ L half-expected a ransom note.

“It’s in your best interests to turn the Death Note over to us,” the man said, folding his arms across his chest. 

Aizawa scratched his chin. “So you say. Tell me, how much do you know about it?”

“We’d recommend you not fight us on this, L,” said the other agent, resting her elbows on her knees. “We both know the odds of you maintaining control over the situation are about 50/50. Your track record on this matter has already cost us the lives of twelve agents.”

“Yes, because the USA has such a great track record with weapons of mass destruction,” Aizawa snapped.

From his hidden place in the security room, L had to fight a grin. He made the right decision to put Aizawa as the face of L. With the absence of Watari to transmit the information to him, he had to resort to more rudimentary measures to keep his identity out of official records. Mogi would have been too nice, too compromising. Aizawa was blunt and stubborn and exactly what they needed to combat the FBI.

“Let’s not bring up the past,” the female agent said placatingly. “That was a different time.”

L whispered in his walkie, “Tell them you need to think about it. If they ask, a deadline of tomorrow.”

Aizawa leaned back in his chair. “I’m not convinced. I’ll have to consider it further before I give you my answer.”

“Sir, immediacy is of the essence.”

“Tomorrow then.”

The two glanced at one another before the female agent smiled tightly. “Very well. Our flight leaves at 6 PM. I hope for all our sakes we’ll have the note and the prisoners by then.”

Aizawa shrugged. “Sure, go on hoping. Never worked for me, but hey, it might be different for you.”

The polite expressions turned icy as the two FBI agents slowly stood, reluctantly accepting their dismissal. The male agent looked back as they left, sizing Aizawa up with a calculating look. The barest trace of a smirk touched his lips before he followed his companion out the door to the conference room.

L watched them leave on the security cameras. Then he ran a scan for bugs. As he expected, at least a dozen alerts popped up. Of course. He bit his thumbnail. Honestly, he was disappointed. They could have at least left a challenge for him. Hell, a university freshman was trickier to handle than one of the most well funded and powerful organizations in the world.

He pressed the button on his walkie that fed into Aizawa’s earpiece. “Careful what you say, it’s bugged. Come meet me in HQ.”

Aizawa stretched his arms out and cracked his back in answer. Of course, he couldn’t actually say anything without unwanted listeners picking up on it.

L got up as well. He wasn't so much of a fool as to believe that the bugs weren’t decoys, that there weren't other methods of surveillance the American government was watching them with. In fact, he knew there were. But Watari had spared no expense on the Headquarters and installed countermeasures in several rooms, including the main hub where the first Death Note was stored. Still, those only prevented surveillance methods that they were aware of. He had to be conscious of those that may have been developed outside of his knowledge.

He slowly made his way to the hub. As he did so, L felt his nerves raise, and a small thrill of excitement; the game was still on. Those agents wouldn't leave without what they had come for. This was why Light must have contacted them. The worst possible result he could think of. Such a powerful artifact in the hands of world leaders with no reservations about using it? Utter chaos would spread, and not the good kind. 

Sure, some might have good intentions, but how long until it was used against political rivals? All official knowledge of the book would disappear and the rest of the world would have no choice but to bow to the holder’s wishes. From what he’d seen throughout the course of his life, few would be able to resist the temptation of the note. Those in positions of power even less so.

_ Light Yagami, you don’t disappoint. _

Playing upon human greed… it’s exactly what L would have done in his place. The only problem was how the hell was he supposed to handle this. Usually, he was able to cut out of the investigation once the culprit was caught, and Watari dealt with the aftermath. He had no technical authority to refuse these agents. And yet, there was no way he could let either the note or Light fall into their hands. 

Light wasn’t directly responsible for Watari’s death… but he was still involved. If only Light wasn’t Kira…

_ If Light wasn’t Kira, he would be my successor.  _

As annoying as that fact was, it was still the truth. Light was far more flexible and adaptable than Near or Mello, and just about as intelligent. And if he let him get what he wanted…

_ Why did he call them, really? _

It couldn’t be just so the American government would get their hands on him. Sure, he’d be kept alive so they could learn the secrets of the note, but the torture would be far worse than anything L had done. That couldn’t be his end goal. It was still a loss after all.

L bit his thumbnail as he worked through what he would do in such a position. Contacting the FBI, the one country they couldn’t easily say no to… forcing them to make a choice… Light must be certain of what answer they’d give. And he must be certain it will lead him to victory. The only way Light would get out of this…

_ No. I won’t let him. _

There was no way he’d allow Light to escape justice. None. And yet, there was also no way he could allow the FBI to get their hands on the note. 

_ He thinks he's backed me into a corner. _

L couldn’t accept that those were his only options. No, there had to be some way… some way to win without handing anything over or giving Light what he wanted.

At last, he reached the door to the hub. He opened it to see Mogi and Matsuda working through a heavy stack of papers, organizing and whiting out names. 

Mogi looked up as he entered. “I took the liberty of preparing a snack table,” he said, gesturing to a cardboard box with bags of chips and cookies stacked on top. “I thought we’d be here a while.”

L wandered over to it, expectations low. It was hardly the fare he was used to. Potato chips, salty snacks, and sugared cardboard. A far call from the expensive sweets Watari imported. Well, it was better than nothing. And it probably wouldn’t poison him. Probably.

_ What a story that would make; the world’s greatest detective killed not by Kira, but by moldy cookies. _

He delicately picked up a bag with his forefinger and thumb and made his way to the head of the worktable where Mogi and Matsuda worked furiously through the mountains of files, removing names of those who had worked on the case and sorting through which documents were meant to be turned over to the FBI. L sat in his usual crouched position and looked over their progress.

The door opened once more and Aizawa walked in. L took in the creased lines on his face and the bags under his eyes, measuring exactly how far Aizawa could go tonight. How long before the thought of his wife would call him home.

“I swear if they make one more comment about our ‘little nation’ I’m gonna fucking hit something,” Aizawa said, slumping as he stomped over.

“What are we gonna do?” asked Matsuda.

L held a cookie up and tentatively took a bite. It was truly awful. Cardboard. “Well, we have several options. We can obey them and hand over an untested weapon of untold destruction to the US government, along with the two people who know how it works…”

“Or we can deny them and risk them killing us and taking it all anyway,” Aizawa said.

L nodded. “Exactly.”

Mogi paused in his work. “What if-” he stopped himself. “Never mind.”

“Speak your mind,” L said, taking another disappointing bite of the cookie.

Mogi hesitated. “What if we gave them a fake Death Note?”

“I admit, the thought had crossed my mind. What do the rest of you think?” He had to make sure. 

Matsuda was quiet. He’d changed since Light confessed and Soichiro turned himself in. He seemed to think more deeply before speaking, and no longer took his cues from the others. Whether that was an improvement or a deterioration was yet to be seen.

Aizawa scratched his neck. “I mean, I guess… there’s a lot of considerations we’d have to take, especially if they’re gonna question the Kiras. When they find out it doesn’t work, they’ll either torture them further, if they hadn’t started already, or they’ll turn to us. If they think we’re holding out on them we’re as good as dead.”

L set the cookie aside. It wasn’t worth the pain of eating it. But it was good to know they thought the same as him. None outside this room could be trusted. 

Movement flickered in L’s peripheral vision. His eyes snapped to the side but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Nevertheless, he tensed. For the past two days, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was coming. A feeling that persisted despite Watari’s death. Was now the time it would reveal itself?

“What if we swapped out the Kiras as well?” Matsuda said.

L’s attention snapped back to the conversation.

“Are you crazy?” Aizawa yelled. “Who the hell would we replace them with? And who would agree to that?”

“Well we did it before so I don’t see the problem!” Matsuda answered with equal fervor.

“Who? Who on earth would do some bullshit like-”

“Lind L. Tailor!”

Aizawa fell silent. 

L begrudgingly concluded that Matsuda’s change was an improvement. He was sharper than before, suggesting what L dreaded doing himself. 

Then something else shifted in the corner of his eye. Before L could look, Aizawa spoke, commanding his attention.

“L… I think they knew. I mean, the FBI agents. One of them looked familiar, I think I may have met him before. He knows I’m not you.”

“Hmm… do you know where you met him?”

“Uh… I’m not sure. It’s just vague recognition.”

“Shame. There are gaps, erasures in these agents’ records, it would have been nice to know more. Don’t worry about that, I wasn’t expecting them to believe you. You were just a face. Something to buy us time.”

Another flicker of movement in the corner of his eye. His head snapped in its direction, not hiding his attempts to find it anymore. There, on the back wall. A shadowy skeletal figure. L nearly jumped out of his seat, but somehow maintained his composure enough to keep his balance.

_ It’s not Rem. It’s not the right shape.  _

So this meant it was something else. Another Shinigami? L looked closer. The figure wore mostly black, contrasting the pale waxy skin that stretched grotesquely across his face. It waved at him with a bony hand. L recoiled.

“Uh… are you ok?” 

L vaguely registered that Mogi was referring to him. “Yes. Just tired.”

“Really? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

_ Quick, a lie.  _ “One of the shadows back there… I thought it was Rem. Just the lights playing tricks on me.”

Aizawa cut in. “L, what do you think? What path should we take?”

L watched the Shinigami as he responded. “My thoughts are in line with Matsuda’s. If we can’t beat them by power, beat them by trickery. Decoys will buy us enough time to get ourselves to safety. In the meantime, we need to find a judge that can’t be corrupted. Ideally in Japan, though I’m open to other suggestions. If the Kiras are to face justice, we need to be sure of who we’re surrendering them to.”

The other detectives murmured agreement and began to brainstorm ideas, but L’s attention was elsewhere. The Shinigami pointed to the door and beckoned him forward.

_ Why isn’t it talking? The others obviously can’t see it… is it tied to Rem’s note somehow?  _

L stood. “I have to make a call. I may know some people who can help.”

Mogi opened his mouth, about to say something, but thought better of it as he snapped it shut. Aizawa raised a hand in acknowledgment and Matsuda nodded. 

The Shinigami moved as he did, following him out the door. 

As soon as it was shut behind him, L spoke bluntly. “Do I need to be concerned for my life?”

It cackled. “Sorry, I’m used to being ignored when I talk in public. Light had really strict rules. He didn’t appreciate my commentary. But don’t worry. There’s only one name I’m interested in writing and it’s not yours.”

_ Light’s Shinigami?  _

“So why appear here and now? Don’t you have something better to do?” L thought he knew, but he wanted to hear the Shinigami say it.

“Well, according to the rules, you’re the new owner of that Death Note you keep hidden in your pants.”

L started walking down the hallway. “It’s not in my pants.”

The Shinigami followed, hovering alongside him. “Well, wherever you’re hiding it. My glorious fate is to follow the owner of my note.”

_ So was it on loan to Rem? _ “The other one had a name, I assume you do as well?”

It scratched the back of its neck and pulled out a chunk of something before tossing it to the floor. “Ryuk. And before you go getting any great ideas, no, a Shinigami can’t be killed by a Death Note.”

_ Yeah, I figured that already. _ “Are Shinigami loyal to those they’re bound to follow?”

“Eh, not particularly. Generally, we’re not supposed to help or hinder a human holder of the note.”

_ So Rem was an anomaly, if this thing can be trusted. _

L took in the creature’s mannerisms and speech, analyzing for an ounce of deceit. Though it acted as though it didn’t have a care in the world, he could tell there was plenty of guile behind those eyes. And… a vague sense of superiority. Similar to the one he felt in Rem, though less personal. This creature knew it was better, more powerful than the rest of them, and didn’t give a shit what they thought. Didn’t need to prove it. He couldn’t quite pin down its motivation… which meant there were no grounds on which L could predict its actions. It was a wild card.

He was tempted to question it further, to ask all that was burning inside him, but he knew he couldn’t quite trust what was said to him. He didn’t think this thing, this Ryuk, would tell him a lie, at least not a complete one, but he could sense the god of death withholding crucial information just from the few questions he already asked.

The silence stretched between them until Ryuk looked vaguely uncomfortable.

“I gotta be honest, I thought you’d have a lot more questions for me,” it said looking sidelong at L.

“You should know better than anyone there are eyes and ears everywhere. The less I speak right now, the better until we get to a secure location.”

Ryuk sighed dramatically. “Well, this feels familiar.”

L couldn’t help but wonder how the hell Light managed to get anything done with this thing hanging around him all day. Then a thought occurred to him.

_ When Light was Kira… when this thing was with him… that’s when he wrote those messages. Could it be? _

When he asked Rem he got an inconclusive answer. Would it be different with Ryuk? He bit his tongue. He knew better, he really shouldn’t speak. Still, the urge to ask overcame him. Softly, so the bugs wouldn’t pick it up clearly, he said, “Ryuk… does your kind have a fondness for apples?”

Ryuk’s face lit up. “Do you have some? Where?”

_ That son of a bitch.  _

“... Never mind.”

Complaints burst forth from Ryuk’s lips the entire way to L’s room. L never thought he’d miss Rem’s silence. 

L pushed the door to his room open and promptly pressed a hidden button on top of the door frame. There. Now any attempted surveillance of the sound coming from this room would be scrambled while the visual feed was still linked to the security room in case anything happened.

He turned to face the Shinigami. “Now, I’m sure your timing was anything but a coincidence. I assume this has something to do with what Light has planned, yes? What is it?”

Ryuk just shrugged and flipped upside down, searching under the bed. Probably looking for apples. Of course. Just when L needed answers, he didn’t speak.

“Oh, come now. You were so eager to talk earlier, I can’t imagine what’s making you shy now.”

Ryuk chuckled and flipped right side up. “Nah, Light doesn’t share his plans with me. I’m just the messenger boy. And the rules, you know?”

“And the message is?”

“Well, mainly that…” Ryuk scrunched up his face as if trying to remember and then enunciated each word carefully. “That you’ll be interested to know the people you’re dealing with are after another Death Note.” 

L frowned. “Clarify. Another as in a third or another as in the other one we have?”

“Eh, I’m just the messenger.”

And then it hit him. L knew exactly what Light wanted him to do. He knew it because he couldn’t disagree. This temptation, this threat… there was no way he could ignore it. The risk of another Death Note… another Kira… 

“Is this message true?” he demanded. “Was Light lying?”

Ryuk sighed. “Oh boy, you’re gonna be chasing your tail over this one, aren’t you? Look, I’ll spare you some time. It was correct. There’s probably at least one other Death Note down here, not counting mine. Capiche?”

A thousand questions flew through L’s head, but he held his tongue.

Another Death Note… and the only person with the knowledge to find it was Light Yagami. He had no choice.

_ I have to set him free. _


End file.
